Im a full time solo mum. I work full time as well. My daughter is 7.5 and very independent.
Im asking (and haven't done this yet) what every ones opinions are of leaving a child home alone for 30 minutes.
I would like to go for a walk with my dogs some times and she wants to have a rest after a big day at school. Just little things like that. Would never be long or far.
We have great neighbours in out unit complex if she needed anything.
Some of my friends leave their kids and go shopping and tell me it's fine. But im just not sure.
What do all you mummas think of this situation?
This is a place where women from different backgrounds, cultures and beliefs come together to support one another judgement free.
35 Replies
That would be fine if she is mature for her age. I leave my 10 year old and duck up the shop. I make her stay on her lap top. She has rules, she’s not to try and cook or do anything while I am not home. I make sure she knows the exists and what to do if there was an emergency. We are also in a complex. Just don’t let anyone know you leave her alone. Too risky with creeps around. Also make sure she knows to never answer the door.
To add to this, I think more age 10 is appropriate. She would be fine but I didn’t leave my child at that age. I could tell when she was ready. You know your daughter.
At 7.5, no way, under no circumstances.
I'm a single mum with a very mature child also.
IMO being in a complex is worse, you hear the stories, people know what everyone else is doing, someone could see you leave.
10 from the comment below is very different to 7.
I'm sure she wouldn't do anything wrong if she's mature, but if anything out of the ordinary happened, she wouldn't know how to cope.
You would most certainly be charged if someone reported you.
It's not a grey area at 7.
I started leaving my son home for small amounts of time the second half of grade six, because year 7 he was catching bus and coming home alone.
He is extremely responsible/mature.
I never, ever considered before that.
There are very few and rare circumstances where she would actually be charged.
⚠️TW⚠️
A boy was locked in a Cuboard while the mother and new girlfriend and daughters went away for the weekend (only one example of the abuse endured). The mother was 'charged' but free to raise her daughters, with supervised visits with the son with the view of returning in future. The son went into foster care, moved around a lot because he was deeply troubled, and forced to have visits with this woman and sisters.
This is only one example, not even an extreme one. While it may not seem grey, reality is completely different
If she got caught, child services would def become involved and rightly so.
If she's happy to take that risk and have them involved in her life, then she should leave her 7 year old.
If it was due to work and coming home late, needing to put food on the table, thus a necessity, maybe she would have to.
But just for leisure, why would you take the risk?
I don't get it.
It's such a small window they are young, we should protect them.
No one is saying leave a 7 year old at home
🙄
7.5 is way too young no matter how "mature" imo. I'm surprised you'd even consider it 😳
She’s just asking. No harm in asking. She’s never had a child this age before. So I am not surprised at all. It’s a genuine question.
Wait for a bit longer maybe 8 or 9
8 and up
Wow really?!?
I have the most mature kid on the planet and I wouldn't do this.
Crazy what some parents think is acceptable.
It is also illegal.
She’s only going for a walk around the block. I never left my kids home to go to the shop, until they were min age 12 when I thought they were mature enough. I still think if she’s just going for a walk with the dog around the block and her child is mature enough, I’m sure she would be fine. She’s not leaving her for long. Yes accidents can happen but they can happen at any age and mum would obviously need rules in place.
It's irrelevant where she is going, she is leaving a 7 year old home alone for 30 minutes, in a complex no less.
If that sit well with you, more power to you but I could never do it.
I could never do it either. Just saying. This mum knows her daughter, knows her capabilities. She would likely be sat on an iPad like the rest of the kids in this world and wouldn’t even notice her mum taking a walk around the block. She isn’t far off 8. I could leave my 10 year old home and know she was ok but not my 14 year old. Each kid is different. Only a parent can determine this.
My kids have 2 rules. Don’t ever cook and don’t answer the door, to anyone ever.
"But I'm just not sure". You're hesitant - that there answers your question! It's gotta be a hard no at this stage.
Personally, I think somewhere between the age of 10 - 12 is a more appropriate age to start offering small opportunities of independence, you can build on it from there.
She’s not sure because she hasn’t had to do this before. I was the same with my first kid. By time I had my 3rd my 8 yr old was fine to stay home when I would walk around the block. Not disagreeing with you but 8 seems to be ok when she’s only walking around the block and not Leaving her for hour or 2. Half an hour max. She sounds grown up for her age. I doubt there would be any problems with it.
Well, I mean you are disagreeing with me...
OP asked for opinions. This is mine and I stand by it. If she's unsure about leaving her 7 year old unattended for half an hour, then her gut is telling her not yet. I was apprehensive the first time I left my oldest but I also knew without a shadow of a doubt that the time was right.
Her daughter may sound grown up but she still is just a 7 year old child. Leaving a child home alone is actually placing a huge responsibility on their shoulders and 30 minutes is a pretty large chunk of time straight off the bat.
Yes maybe if she was a bit older 8 - 9 and started off 10 mins at a time then work up to 30. With technology, her child prob wouldn’t even notice her gone. That’s the way it is these days. Most kids are on devices. She could also prob contact her mum easily enough. She’s not leaving her all day or anything. Over 8 is prob a better age to start off small with this
because that 6 months would make such a difference...nah not 8 or 9, unless with an older sibling like the lady below.
6 months can actual make a difference in maturity at that age. My kids have certainly changed and matured more in the past 6 months.
When you say "unit complex", do you mean like a block of say 4 town houses or do you mean a typical unit complex full of people who can easily observe your comings and goings?
And when you say the neighbours are nice, does that mean you know them well and trust them implicitly or does it mean they have been friendly enough so them being able to help your daughter if need be seems like a good option?
I grew up in a unit complex. There probably was about 25 to 30 units on the block kind of laid out in groups of 5 in a semi circle formation. It was a nice complex in a suburb widely considered as safe and most of the people who lived there were pleasant.
My mum and I had to go somewhere once, I was 15 my brother 10. He didn't want to come. We returned after about 40 minutes to find my brother gone.
A grown man who lived in the complex saw us leave and thought it would be a great time to knock on our door and invite my brother to his place to watch DVDs.
My brother couldn't fathom that what he'd done was wrong because he would chat to this guy regularly (unbeknownst to us), so this man wasn't a stranger or a potential predator to him - he was the cool guy who had lots of wrestling movies.
I still think about how easily my brother could've been abducted that day and I now don't trust typical unit complexes as a result. Too many unknown people in a confined area who are far too aware of your movements.
Most perpetrators of abuse are known to the victim. This should be common knowledge. Rule number 1 is do not answer the door to anyone, especially if you know them!!
I think it's good for kids to be left alone for short periods. We are raising an incapable generation. You know what I saw the other day? A viral video of a young Mum showing off her hack. You know what the hack was? Cleaning a container with soapy water. Literally dish liquid and warm water cleaned her container and that was a hack. And others that also thought this was amazing and they were going to try it too. Any bit of hope I had for upcoming generations was just lost right there. There's kids in Africa that can run a whole farm or take care of a whole household and here we are wrapping them in cotton wool for 18 years and they are discovering things like soapy water cleans stuff. Give them back some independence, let them figure things out for themselves! Lets save humanity!
Don't get offended but I really laughed at this comment, it kind of mind my day (was having a shitty one). I don't agree though and here's my reply :)
They are also starving in Africa, but we choose to feed our kids.
They are also running the farms and not going to school in Africa, but we choose to educate our kids.
You're either all in with Africa or all out woman, you can't pick and choose!!
Have a great night!!
No offense taken lol it was all a bit tongue in cheek. My point was how capable children can be but you're right, they're capable because they have no choice.
Kids are not starving in Africa any more.
Africa's a big continent.
My comment was half joking.
Lighten up.
There's kids starving everywhere.
Yer ok? I think you need to do some more research on this. There are plenty kids starving in Africa but that is another topic and this is all way off topic. We all have different views.
Totally get your message in this. Won’t leave an 8 year old home but will leave a teen home alone locked in their rooms with devices and access to anything and everything. I’m sure she would be fine if mum thinks she is capable. It’s a walk around the block. It’s not a day out!
My daughter is 12 my son 8, they walk home from school and are home alone for an hour before I get home from work. They know not to answer to door and not to use the stove but my daughter has a phone and we text regularly! She messages me when she leaves school and when she gets home as well. 7.5 is way too young but I start leave my kids for 30 min when my daughter turned 11 and my son was 7, my daughter had a phone at 11 to contact her dad so having that "contactable" feeling helped... to add to this too I work 8 minutes from home and their school.
Sounds like you have a good system and your daughter is very responsible.
7.5 is way too young. Doesn’t matter the maturity, they don’t comprehend accidents can happen. And no matter how much you drum it into them, don’t climb, don’t cook, all it takes is one oh Mum won’t care if I just make a sandwhich etc they don’t understand. Climb on toy box to reach something and fall, jump on bed. It’s those little moments , I wasn’t gone long, I thought he was safe etc not worth the regret for the rest of your life for half hour alone time.