’m at a bit of a loss and reaching out for suggestions please 🙏
I have a beautiful family and home where I live, however an abusive ex has moved to the same area. Even though nothing has happened since he’s been back, I keep running into him everywhere and it’s all I can think about 24/7. I do not feel safe at all and the anxiety just to duck down to the shops is almost making me vomit incase I see him. I want to move my kids and I away (he’s not their dad) but everywhere I’ve looked is so out of my price range and I’m not even sure where to go to from here. 😭 I absolutely know I shouldn’t be letting him have this power over me, you name it I’ve tried it, mediation, counselling, reading self help books. I still end up feeling scared. My friends tell me not to let it get to me and ignore it because time has passed. I agree out loud, but inside I actually find it so offensive that yet again, I’m the one to pick up the pieces while he can go about his every day life. How could you be ok to be near someone that treated you so badly?
I guess I’m asking has anyone moved their whole life elsewhere and it worked out? Where is a good, safe, family friendly place to look at? Thank you
4 Replies
Don’t listen to your friends. It wasn’t them who lived it. If I was you, I would move too, for my own peace of mind and mental health.
There are some beautiful places in Adelaide and houses are more affordable. Adelaide is a great place for raising kids. Beautiful beaches, friendly people, countryside is beautiful too. We love going there for holidays & would move there if it wasn’t for my husbands job.
Yes, rented our home out and left. Haven’t looked back. New places, new friends, it’s been the best thing for our family. You just have to go and not hesitate. We got a cheap caravan and traveled until we found a spot, where we wanted to stay.
Well, I guess, why has he moved there? Has he made any contact with you any time? If there’s any hint that you’re on his radar, then be concerned.
If there’s no hint, yes, still be concerned. You don’t forget his History. No clean slate for him, ever. But he may have moved on (for now) and it is coincidence that he’s moved this close.
If at any time he gives you the idea that you’re on his radar, follow it up, report it, file the police reports, don’t let your friends tell you to ignore it.
My ex moved back to where I was and he is a nightmare. Unfortunately these men can continue to turn up. It sounds like you are still being triggered by him and I have PTSD so I know what that feels like.
If you can get away then I would. Otherwise I would try to avoid him as much as possible if you start to notice certain times he is somewhere then avoid those times or take someone with you to shop xx