Not really a question, just a rant !!
My Husband is drinking about 15 beers(mid strength , if that matters ) a day !! He works 5-6 days a week and comes home and just sits on the laptop watching movies/youtube all afternoon til dinner .! I have spoken to him about it but nothing is changing . We have a 5 year old girl together and i just don't know what to do anymore !
Anyone else been in this situation ?
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7 Replies
He’s an alcoholic. My husband drinks every night too. Maybe 5-6 beers though. 15 is pretty excessive every night. I throw my husbands out sometimes. I notice it we are ever out on a Sunday , he itches to get home around 3-4 pm , he needs a drink but he doesn’t realise I know that. I’ve left him before. He’s cut back now at night and very well aware of my thoughts on this and I’d leave again if he started drinking more. It’s Grose. He puts off eating because he’s drinking but makes an excuse to hold off on dinner. We eat without him a lot , I tell him to get his own when he drinks or I try feed him up straight after work before he has a chance to get a beer.
15 beers is very excessive. He is an alcoholic and needs help. I would not ask him to go cold Turkey as it is dangerous. I would suggest reducing the amount of drinking and swapping some of that behaviour e.g. let's go for a walk together or out to dinner. Try to only buy what he will consume in one night e.g. 5 beers and cut it down.
If he does not agree to change anything then this is a massive problem and I feel sad for you and your daughter 😔
My husband is a functioning alcoholic. He drinks a lot. He still goes to work and does what he has to around the house and with the kids.
But I am worried for his health. It is so hard.
I just want you to know you are not alone
I am sorry to hear about your husband. I was a functioning alcoholic for 10 years. I've been sober coming on 3 years now but I am still an alcoholic and will be for the rest of my life.
If I can give you some advice as an alcoholic. At some point he will stop being a functioning alcoholic and he will spiral down, if he doesnt get help. If you haven't already get yourself some support from AlAnon or similar so you have support for if that happens. I am so sorry for the crap us alcoholics put people like you through when using. I am so sorry and i wish i could make it better for you. I wish you all the best.
Lots of people have been there. He’s an alcoholic and it’s disease that will come before EVERYTHING. The only thing you can do is kick him out and show your child how to have boundaries for the behaviours she should not accept
I'm 24 years into this type of relationship with my husband. While there have been improvements over the last couple of years, I live with huge resentment for years of ruined weekends, holidays & events due to excessive alcohol.
He was mainly a massive weekend Binger when we met & transitioned into drinking most nights. He now only drinks beer and doesn't end up disgustingly drunk.
But with two impressionable teens, it's really tough being the only one setting a decent example.
If this is impacting your life, make some changes now. He has an addiction & you need to put yourself & your kids first. I wish I had of made different choices.
Advice from a recovering alcoholic. Leave. Unless he gets help now this is only going to get worse. When an alcoholic is using we are selfish, manipulative, horrible people who nobody should ever have to be around. I promise you this will only get worse.
Leaving won't be easy but please start making a plan. There is literally nothing you can do to help him or change the situation. He needs to hit his rock bottom before he gets help. Getting help is all on him. None of this is your fault or your responsibility.
Keep yourself and your daughter safe and away from this garbage. I am sorry you are going through this. If he wants help it is our there and I truly hope he gets the help he needs. All the best to you.