So I've recently realised I have a lot of childhood trauma to deal with. I reached out to a gp, sorted counselling, did the first appointment via phone then sat there staring at the screen too anxious to answer every other time she tried calling. In the first session she mentioned I'm leaning towards agoraphobia. I'm not sure but I just have no motivation for anything. I'm at risk of losing the little work I have because I text in sick when really I'm anxious. When I'm there I can't do more that 4 hours as I have a back injuries and tend to lock up and am in pain for hours following. I'd love to work from home but I cannot make calls, again anxiety, I'm not creative so cannot sell on easy etc. I have no interest in schemes like scentsy or doterra etc as its pyramid schemes. I'm a slow learner and find that holds me back a lot as I learn by doing things not reading and studying and that seems to put people off. I work retail and I do like what I do I just seem to talk myself out of going more often then not. It goes well for 3 months then I go quiet and withdrawn for months. I'm on antidepressants and recently single and moved with my teen and we're really struggling financially. I owe so much money accumulated in precious relationship but just can't keep up on payments.
I am constantly telling myself you need to change this, but dont. You need to change that, and don't or start only to fall back. I don't have family or friends I can ask for help so it's just my kid and I.
How do I get out of this rut? I know what needs to be done but I just can't do it.
5 Replies
Make the appointment again and tell them you couldn’t answer. Be honest. They’ll help you through it. Anxiety is awful. You may need your dose upped also. Try and go for walks each morning to start the day. Take it one day at a time
Keep doing them.
I work in a factory. Yes it's hard but with a toddler at home and his dad not stepping up to look after him the buck started and stopped with me. I went with factory work because when you're part of a team where you are just a step on the processing line, you don't really have to deal with many people at all. Just got to learn your job, turn up, do it, go home. Some even have work stations where you can sit or stand.
Hats off to you, I could never have peopled enough to work retail. Sounds like it's not the right fit for you now though.
Do those appointments. They'll make you hurt, they'll make you cry. Do them. Listen to what they're telling you do and force yourself to do it knowing it's the ONLY way up.
Have you spoken to a financial counsellor? I think Centrelink and all the major non profits can put you in touch with one that won't cost you a cent.
Every little step you can push yourself forward will build your confidence in your capability to either overcome this, or at a minimum no longer let it dictate your life to you.
Anxiety is your biggest issue. You sound like you go through a period of withdrawal and recovery, venture back out, become easily overwhelmed and then go back into withdrawal.
You need help with breaking that down into much smaller, acheivable goals so it feels less overwhelming and helps to motivate you. You sound like you feel completely overwhelmed and maybe the therapist needs to slow it down a little bit.
Did the therapist start to teach you strategies to help with coping? Keep in mind the first session is usually pretty intense as it is trying to get to the crux of the issues. Do not worry about any label e.g. agoraphobia is just extreme anxiety. It all comes back to managing that anxiety.
If they did go too fast for you then ask them to slow it down. See if the next session is much less intense. If it keeps feeling completely overwhelming maybe this therapist is not the right fit for you 💗
Counselling and the proper medication. Go back to the GP and discuss changing meds as you need to find the right one for anxiety. Lots of antidepressants don’t work for it (better for depression). Look for a job where you can work from home doing transcribing or admin work that doesn’t require much interaction with people on the phone. Keep at it with the counselling and ask for strategies to practice every day to get out of your head cycle
You’re in a really tough spot. I know it’s hard but counselling is work and your anxiety is stopping you from answering to avoid facing fears, but I promise you, it will help in the long run. You have to take charge. It’s bloody scary. That was me 18 years ago. If you address the biggest issues, the smaller ones fade away and in time you can live normally.