Help. I’ve started developing feeling for a friend. Problem is he is married and so am I. I don’t want to jeopardise my marriage I love my husband. But I find myself thinking more and more about my male friend and enjoying time when I am with him. I don’t want to loose him as a friend. Sometimes I feel there is chemistry there. Or I don’t know if it is all in my head. Please no harsh comments. I know the answer is to cut all ties but like I said I still find him one of my best friends.
11 Replies
It’s probably just the attention after being married and mum life. It’s get stale. It’s nice to have some one exciting and fun to get on so well with. I understand you but you need to not do anything with this end remain friends with a bit more distance. If anything eventuates later then you need to leave your husband first. The grass isn’t greener and you would regret it.
What do you want more?
To keep your secret crush close potentially jeopardising your family, or your family.
If you truly wanted to keep him as a friend you're going to have to do the work to see if you can get past this crush phase and go back to just being friends.
You know the issue.
You know the solution.
Reality check: Imagine sitting your kids down to tell them that you and dad are going to live apart from now on.
Imagine what you say when they ask why.
Imagine not seeing your kids Christmas day, because it's his year.
Imagine your husband and your best friend's wife's face when you tell them you're in love.
Imagine being with Mr. Fresh and New and seeing him have chemistry with one of your other friends.
Why play with fire when there's so much to lose?
What's your priority, a saucy friendship that gives you a buzz or your kids and husband?
The buzz will wear off with Mr Fresh and New, like every relationship, why do you do then?
THIS!!
If it doesn’t work for your marriage for him to be a close friend, then you need to put distance. Saying ‘but you want him close’ is bullshit.
He is no longer a friend. He is a threat to your marriage and a threat to your kids. Put massive distance between you and the friend and if that isn’t enough be willing to end the friendship. Please don’t do this to your family. It isn’t even almost worth it. If you really can’t help yourself be honest so your husband can at least choose if he wants to share you with someone else. Wake up lady. Male or female you are about to cheat. From someone who has been cheated on nobody deserves that, it’s selfish and is one hell of a way to destroy a family.
You can enjoy his friendship and company, have fun and not feel bad because you are friends but if you cross that line, it makes you a dirty deceiving wife. That’s on you. Is he worth destroying your life over? If you love you husband, you need to be faithful and honest. I think your feelings may come from losing that attention and spark in marriage. It’s normal but don’t cross that line.
Meh. Harmless crushes. We've all had them. These things wear off so make sure you know the difference and keep it that way. Don't be your own home wrecker by acting on it.
Exactly
Sometimes we struggle with trying to navigate that male friendship. Try to tell yourself he is your brother. Next time you are talking to him, tell him he is like a brother to you. Get rid of the chemistry and keep the friendship.
Re-ignite the chemistry with your husband. Get out of the house and go and do something with him. Do not just spend your time talking about the kids.
This thing with this man will fizzle out and you will be glad you resisted it.
You know the answer here, this is not a friendship it’s developing to something more. If you love your husband you will stop this friendship it is extremely inappropriate.
How would you feel if this was your husband and a female friend, I’m going to guess betrayed