Ladies please tell me I’m not going crazy.
I honestly believe that my husbands female best friend is in love with him. She is married herself but I just can’t shake the feeling that she has genuine feelings for him. There has being a few examples 1. She will blow his phone up if he doesn’t reply and this does annoy him but he never says anything.
2. She told my FIL she wishes that she had met my husband before me because she would have what I have now 🚩
3. She will constantly ask him to catch up and never ask me to hang out or anything even though we also have a civil friendship
4. She always wants to drink alone with him
5. She sent my husband a message “I honestly just need you, I love you bro”
I just don’t know what to say to my husband to make him realise. He tells me I’m just jealous and they are strictly just friends and he definitely doesn’t see her anything more then a friend. They have definitely not being physical. Hubby thinks I’m just trying to cut their friendship, this women is also a lair and she’s being caught multiple times lying but his just so blinded by there friendship.
Husbands bestfriend has feelings
Husbands bestfriend has feelings
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
28 Replies
Not something that I’d stand for and your husband is a fool for allowing her so much control in his life. He’s an easy push over and she gets what she wants. Does she really mean that much to him, that he isn’t seeing the problem here.
If a girl kept trying to catch up with my husband without me and he didn’t speak up for me, I’d be out! Something isn’t right here.
He needs to set her straight or you walk, it’s that simple. She obviously means more to him than you do. Not being rude but he is putting her feelings before yours. They’ve prob hooked up, even when you prob don’t think so. Don’t be naive. Maybe he feels he owes her or she has something on him.
Wait he met her after he was with you and then became best friends with her? No, he’s given her too much, clearly she wants to date him he needs boundaries and telling you you’re trying to cut her when you ask for boundaries also stinks to me. I also know people are not as naive as you think. He’s making choices. He might seem a pushover; but look how he speaks to you - he’s not; he’s making his choices.
I'm sorry but I do not trust your husband. Where is she getting the idea that getting him alone might work. He needed to shut it down from the start. My gut is telling me more has happened between them and you need to get sneakier to find out because he may be lying.
If she knew there was not a chance in hell, she wouldn't keep trying! He's sending signals or has done something with her in the past.. sorry but something is very off
Thank you everyone. I have had a lengthy conversation with my husband and I have read messages dating back to when they became friends and he absolutely has pulled her up on her way with words. He has promised to stop talking to her as often and will be telling her that the constant messaging him needs to stop. He also stated that he will be telling her that we hang out with her as a pair and not as a one person friendship anymore. After communicating with him nicely instead of being in his face he quite understood where I was coming from. :)
So he kept all her messages but only kept his loyal ones? And who keeps message transcripts from that far back umless it's to pre plan 'proof' to you for later? Sorry, but I think he's 10 steps ahead in a Web of lies . I'd still be incredibly sus if I were you . Now he'll just hide it more
The hanging out with her as a pair is still a problem. They can still give footsies and eyes at a table . It'll never be comfortable for you now. He needs to cut her off completely.
Ok so this is good of him to understand you but don’t let your guard down. Treat this as Something is still off because it is. Don’t be naive going forward. Move forward like you believe him but keep your eyes open. Yes he is prob telling you the truth or maybe he is telling you what you need to hear.
Glad he listened to you and move on from it with your eyes open. It may be that they just get sneakier or it may not.
You don’t know what he’s told her also.
I agree, you’ll feel like a chaperone on your husbands date 🤣
If he’s had to pull her up on her ‘wording’ he needs to acknowledge the intention behind it and just withdraw. He’s made his own bed with that one.
There are a lot of very insecure women on this platform. I would 100% be happy with this response.
- I literally never delete my messages, I have every message anyone has seen so I don’t think it’s unusual for him to have them.
- I think it’s reasonable to hang as a couple. I see no where that he has ever expressed interest in her so very doubtful they are playing footsies
Well done on talking to him calmly, this can very very hard when emotions are high and it’s this type of lack of communication that can end marriages.
100% agree.
It's a very reasonable response.
I don't delete my messages either.
I think some people just look for the bad in everything.
Omg , tell your husband to put a stop to her before you are forced to ! I can't help tho but think he's not innocent in this either, and is encouraging it . Two to tango.
I wonder what her husband thinks of it 🤔 maybe this op should hit him up and ask him or start hanging out with him on her own.
Bet he doesn’t even know they’re friends.
She is married to a women so she doesn’t see it a problem because she likes women not men…
Just because she is married to a woman, doesn’t mean she isn’t going there with your husband. I call bull! He’s prob her man fix that she may need now and then. She prob likes both. Don’t let that throw you off either. You picked up that she’s into him , so she is. Tell her to find a husband if she wants a husband! Just not yours
Well, if she's a lesbian I guess that changes a lot and explains why your husband isn't bothered. I know a few lesbians and it's not uncommon to have guy friends. If she was bi her wife would be more worried. Ask him to put some boundaries in place as you would any friend re texting all the time and not be over bearing but i think you may be wrong by thinking she has feelings.
I kind of think this a big piece of information you left out lol
I think you should add it to the original post.
Good luck, hope you work it out.
I don’t believe for a second she’s lesbian. The OP threw this in to stop the comments blatantly saying what she already knows deep down. Either the OP has deliberately covered this up, or her husband is again lying to her. Either way, it’s both wrong.
I think she is, but OP knew people would be like ‘oh well then it’s ok’. And actually it’s totally viable that she’s bi or wants a man on the side, and at the end of the day, it’s not ok for her husband to be getting this close to anybody, man or woman.
my husbands female best friend is me. I can’t imagine being best friends with another male, more than my husband. Don’t trust these 2
As the above poster has said my husbands best friend is me.
If another woman came into the picture AFTER we had gotten together and weaseled her way in I'd be having stern words about it. And if hubby said I was over reacting and jealous he'd be getting the "me or her" ultimatum.
He isn't respecting your relationship.
My ex husband did the same stuff. Said she was his best friend, and she was ALWAYS around. When I asked for boundaries, I was called jealous and made to feel crazy. She was conniving but he opened the door and let her in. He met her after we were married and had our kids. Long story short, we broke up and he was with her in no time. I'm now happily married to an amazing man - whose female best friend is me and I can't imagine him crossing that boundary with anyone. Trust your gut. Always. I wish I had. I felt humiliated that it was happening behind my back. If your husband doesn't push back and put boundaries in place, I would say that they have more going on than just friendship. Putting boundaries in place for friendships is more than reasonable so this is setting off alarm bells. Trust your gut. I wish you all the best!
Whenever I read things like this I put myself in those positions. So what if it was the other way around? Would your husband feel comfortable with you making those comments about someone else? Would he feel uneasy about you having a male best friend who you message and drink with privately and ignore the wife?
While he has no feelings towards her, if she has feelings towards him and makes an advance, it could get really awkward with everyone, maybe explain that you don't want to see him lose a friendship because it turns Sour, encourage him to have a conversation with her about it and let her know you're uncomfortable with some of her comments (if it comes from him).
She’s for the bin!. And I think hubby is lying, probably enjoying the validation he’s getting from her. Bleh 🤮🤮🤮. Micro cheating, Would he be ok with a male behaving the same way to you? I think not. He sees it, he knows.
I just want to warn from personal experience that this can turn on a dime. My best friend (our best friends were married) had feelings for my husband that I didn’t take seriously as I thought he wouldn’t ever - trusted implicitly. One day while he was drunk they had sex. He kept it from me for a while but it came out and we nearly split up. 10 years later we still work through this while I have lost my best friend and he lost his. I know you trust your husband but she could take advantage in a weak moment and you will lose. Set boundaries, share your concern and don’t let this continue. And for goodness sake if he starts being more secretive and acting strange then don’t take his word for it. Good luck
Yes! Things like phone on silent and face down. Taking his phone everywhere with him.
Yes! Things like phone on silent and face down. Taking his phone everywhere with him.