What is emotional dominance?

Anon Imperfect Mum

What is emotional dominance?

What the f does emotional dominance mean? My partner says he should have emotional dominance in the relationship but won't explain to me what he means or what he wants from it. Please help 🙏🏼

Posted in:  Relationships & Marriage

15 Replies

Anon Imperfect Mum

Lol he sounds stupid then doesn’t he, so why are you worrying and need help with it? Maybe it’s working already..

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Anon Imperfect Mum

"Emotional dominance occurs when one person overwhelms the other's emotional boundaries and begins to control what the other is allowed to show, think, feel, and/or how to outwardly behave,".

That's the definition of it.

But let's call a spade a spade here and call it what it actually is - ABUSE.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

100% this

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Anon Imperfect Mum

It’s actually manipulation and control. I think you need to take a serious look at your relationship. This is abuse. How long have you been together? Is he joking? Is he actually getting his words mixed up because this is a worry for you and your future. It’s a huge red
Flag.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

He won’t explain it because he knows it’s wrong and it’s abuse.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

Urgh, run for the hills. He is a giant walking red flag. He wants control and unless you want to internalise all your own feelings until you implode you need to get away from him.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

Does he even know what it is? Bit of a strange thing to ask. People who are emotionally dominant wouldn't be asking for it lol.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

Probably a term he heard once and thought it would make him sound like a big man 😂

Still problematic as hell though. He clearly doesn't see things like equality and autonomy of great importance.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

Translation:
"I want to be able to steamroll your emotions because any emotion you feel that doesn't align with what I am feeling is wrong. I should get to decide how you feel because my feelings are the only ones that are important".

In essence, darling, he is asking for permission to be abusive.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

He probably doesn't understand what it means. He could have heard it anywhere or been put up to it by mates.

But 'dominance' is crystal clear in it's meaning. Old fashioned male superiority and control - called abuse in today's language. Where your needs and feelings are not important, and decisions are made by him - including financial ones, and going out etc.

If my partner tried this I'd be telling him to explain what he means, and making it completely clear there will be no dominance from either side, it's completely equal, and if he wants to be dominant in a relationship then you'll move on. Even if he backs down, please don't ever put yourself in vulnerable position, because he'll swoop in to take advantage.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

What is he like as a person other than this comment? It’s a very strange thing to say to someone.Are they any other red flags? Either he doesn’t know what he is actually telling you or he is that sick that he does, then you need to run for the hills 🏃🏻‍♀️🚩

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Anon Imperfect Mum

What a gaslightjng narc. Yuck. Doesn't even have the decency to explain it to you? Well he doesn't earn any decency back then ! Fuck him!

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Anon Imperfect Mum

Sounds like some alpha male trad wife BS.

It's quite a bit controlling and misogynistic.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

Bullying aka abuse

Run.

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Victoria Crone

Bullying aka abuse

Run.

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