Needing advice my son is 11 he is level 3 autism ADHD and ODD.
He has never coped well at school we have struggled everyday since kindergarten.He is now in year 6 he is in a support unit class.
He has been suspended 3 times already this year 2 of those are 10 day suspension for aggressive behaviour.
I really don't know what I Am asking but I'm at the point of what's the point of sending him to school.
The teachers constantly ring 15mins into school morning to come get him.
I have noticed in the morning most kids in the support unit are heightened there meds haven't set in and are all easily triggered including my son.i have always been compliant with the school and go with the motions of it all.
At home he is no problem at all he does not display any aggressive behaviour and enjoy his company he is very caring and loving.
I suppose Im curious/worried about the future for him ...what happens to kids that just can't fit into school and struggle.
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4 Replies
There is a place for him. I don’t like writing a school off based on one observation, but if he hasn’t done well there in all his time, and you aren’t on board with the plan, whatever it is, then maybe look for another one. In saying that, change can be really really overwhelmingly hard, and it’s his last year, so depending on that maybe just focus on setting him up for next year. Keep him home if you can. Work on his basic maths and English skills. Find the right high school for him and set that up.
If he’s playing up so that he gets sent home, then you can go to school and stay in class with him.
If he’s unsettled at the start, ask for a different morning routine to set him up for success. Maybe drop right on the bell and straight into an activity in his class.
I’m a teacher in a public school and I can say that with 100% certainty that if I had a child with ASD I would not send them to a mainstream school.
We try to make all the adjustments and try to help but the environment is just too much sometimes.
When a child is violent it is scary, we are not trained for that. We often take the brunt and we’re loosing a lot of teachers because we are not there to take the physical brunt. The other students often get scared as well, this makes it all the more harder for kids to make friends.
I had a violent child with ASD last year, I couldn’t plan past a session because it all depended if he was heightened or not, I was constantly evacuating the class. I very nearly left teaching. We try and try and try and then usually get “what did you do to set him/her off.”
I know it’s not the child’s fault, I literally try everything but the environment is not right for some students with ASD. The government need to do better with this. I feel like their needs to be specific and specialised schools that parents can access if their child needs extra support socially and emotionally.
If possible I would consider homeschooling. I would make a bet that your child is bright and creative and kind, we just can’t cater for the sensory needs in a main stream class.
I know this is not all ASD students. Some cope quite fine in a mainstream setting, but the kids that don’t it’s really hard for. It’s very hard to watch them struggle as well knowing you’re doing everything you can.
Children who can't fit into the tiny box of mainstream school and are educated a different way go on to lead the same lives as those who were in mainstream school. A child who struggles in an education setting, who is distressed and lashing out isn't learning anything anyway as their brain is in survival mode making learning impossible. Forcing the situation to continue can have serious consequences for your child's mental health. I speak from experience... my son probably would have unalived himself if I had continued to force him to go to a mainstream school.
There are alternatives to mainstream education such as distance education and homeschooling that have just as amazing (sometimes better) outcomes for children. If the current systen isn't working for your child look at alternatives and find something that fits him and his learning style.