Advice needed.
I had a partner move in with me. Was living there for 12 months with his 2 x teenage children fulltime and 5 year old every second weekend.
My 2 are with me week on week off.
Asked him to move out 7 months ago. I know it’s over as I was not happy with how I was treated by his children and I never felt like he had my back. I also worked hard to get where I am and take pride in my house and his kids totally neglected it as did he.
My issue is he makes me feel so sorry for him when he declares his undying love for me and says he misses me and needs me in his life. He plays at my emotions and although I know I don’t want to be in a relationship with him I don’t know how to fully walk away.
I really need advice on what to do/say. I don’t know want to go back to him and be treated the way I was again by he or his children. My children are now also much happier without them all there.
Advice with ex
Advice with ex
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Behaviour, Kids
11 Replies
Tell him to leave you lone and stop answering his attempts of making contact.
Block all contact. No need to interact
You need to cease contact… sounds rough but if he still loves you it’s not fair. He needs to be cut free and you don’t need to feel bad for making the decision to end it as you being taken for granted wasn’t OK.
It’s cruel to him to keep him hanging on when you’re not going to go back. But more importantly
- it’s cruel of him to declare undying love / guilt you when it didn’t work and you’ve made it clear
- it’s not good for you to spend your time on him instead of moving on
- probably time to reply that it’s definitely over and you’re going to ‘focus on yourself’ and leave him on read.
- go on dates, speak to new people
You need to
Block his number and never hear from him again. Nothing at all no contact. You won’t get past this if you keep allowing him to reach you.
You know what you need to know?
He can take you for your house.
What you've worked hard for, sacrificed for and the life you've built for you and your kids - all at risk.
Brutal honesty is needed here.
"Dude, no. Never happening. Don't call me".
So you’re happier, your children are happier, you are 100 percent never going back. Why would you feel guilt over this? And why would you waste both of your time keeping this going?
You know what you need to do; and don’t feel bad. If you feel bad; go straight back to my first two points. Don’t mess with that. And don’t apologise for it!!
He can’t play on your emotions if you cut contact, it’s that simple. Done move on.
I’m not trying to be rude here but why are you even allowing him to be in your life still? This isn’t rocket science. You don’t need to Be friends and you don’t need to hear from him ever again. You are all happier, enough said. Block his number and any other ways he can communicate with you. Why would you feel bad about you and your kids being happier and doing what’s best for you? He can’t make you feel bad if he can’t contact you.
If you can't walk away, then you can have a relationship with him and just never live together 🤷♀️
But if you don't want to be in a relationship with him, then I would be saying "please don't contact me again, we are definitely over and dragging this out is unhealthy for both of us. I won't be responding to any more messages from you. Please move on and be happy"
And he keeps contacting, block him. He's just making you feel guilty.
Perhaps setting some boundaries, 4 his children have a open talk with him and then with his children. Idk that might help. Good luck.