3 months post separation.

Hi all.

I'm the mum who Christmas time found out her partner had a baby with someone he had been cheating with.

First things first, for 3 months, I've been up and down.

I started drinking more than I should and eating. I wasn't myself and handful of people only knew roughly what was happening.

The pen dropped a week ago when I realised I didn't like how my personality was changing. I was angry and had gained some weight. It was purely self inflicted. I was abrupt, bordering on rude. I was touchy and rather than the mantra of kindness, I was brutal in honesty. It took a few people off guard and they decided to either give me a wide birth like the Titanic around an iceberg. I realised I can't live like this and I've got to forgive myself in order to move forward.

So I apologised for my rudeness at work. I explained to my manager and 2IC that things outside of work were out of control and work was pretty much my only structure at that moment. I was struggling with trusting others and hating myself for it.

So rather than drinking every night, consuming soft cheese with other deli treats and apple turn overs while in the carpark and just not returning phone calls or isolating myself to just focusing on my son and obsessed with work, I decided life needed to open back up.

I also needed answers.

I made contact with my mother in law and apparently we worked out that someone had been spewing out information and pretending to be me. So naturally she cut contact. She showed me chats and I asked her to report those users and IP numbers. I also said that she will also know linguistically that language wise, this wouldn't be me. (I'm Australian, she and my ex are American. There's spelling and grammar differences.) That if she looks at those transmissions, there's little markers that are not genuinely me. I also said I would happily speak to her over the phone and video chat.

So someone not only lied to me but pretended to be me not only to her but others she knows, plus her family so I've been alienated completely.

That's not just horrible but diabolical. Im 100% sure my ex partner has a con artist and that i am never going to know who he really is without hurting others that don't deserve to be run over in order for me to set the record straight. She wants to maintain a relationship but I'm not sure if that's in everyone's best interests. I don't think she deserves to know who her son really is, she probably knows anyway, but she needs to know that I am not the problem if that makes sense? I feel sorry for the baby. The baby also has exactly the same name of a cousin of mine not related to any of his family that cannot be a coincidence.

I don't think he is serial killer dangerous. He has told not only life changing whoppers which are bordering on diabolically toxic. He obviously has some major behavioural problems and some deep seeded rotten values that are way above my pay grade to understand. I've made the decision that he is a tumour and that he needs to be removed completely. That's her son. He is not my problem and I am not going to feed that kind of demon.

I've decided to move and have told people who matter that. His mother will not be informed. I have explained to work some of the issues and have made things a little sterile there going forward.

I'm hoping for a completely clean break away and looking forward to a cleaner filtered future. I won't trust anyone in his family or scope again. That even if there was a clean slate created, it's too messy to fix anyway. No matter what, I just don't want any part of it whether they are supportive or not. I probably won't get into another personal relationship again.

Anyway, that's where I am now. Thanks for for your support.