Does anyone else have a messy child. My daughter is 6 next month, I thought it may have been a toddler thing but the mess is still there all the time. She can literally walk into a spotless room and it will be trashed in 5 minutes. I wouldn’t mind if it was just her room/playroom but it is literally everywhere, the lounge room, kitchen, bathroom, my bedroom no matter where she seems to just cause chaos, and half the time it isn’t even toys, it’s just mess. She is autistic and suspected adhd which I’m kind of unsure if it plays a part or not. But I thought with being in school full time it would be different but it’s just as bad. I’m trying to keep on top of it but I’m exhausted 24/7 and over spending my days cleaning or nagging at her to clean. At this stage you can’t even walk into her playroom and my lounge looked like a bombs hit it, and it’s making me so depressed, I want to be able to keep a semi clean house but every time I go to clean I feel I spend hours sorting out her stuff. Does anyone have any tips or advice please!!! Also I do ask her to clean up her mess but that in itself is a task as she gets distracted 1000 times. Also have decluttered her toys and it makes no difference.
5 Replies
Yes it’s related to her diagnosis, but there are some things I found very helpful with my son. You have got to get proactive with her and less reactive.
Less stuff!
Then more stuff they have the better they can concentrate and play and the less chaos and mess they make.
Get her stuff down to the essentials and consider a toy rotation system.
Also a very Clear routines. That involved me following my kid everywhere for a while and supervising but it wasn’t forever and much more pleasant than yelling. Establish those routines and systems. Dirty clothes get promoted to go straight in the hamper before bath time, towel gets hung up as soon as she’s in her PJs.
Create and prompt consistent clear routines and progress does start to happen. Is it easy? No, but much easier than trying to tidy up when the mess is created because an ADHD/ASD kid will be totally overwhelmed and not be able to start the job.
Also make sure on weekends and after school she gets outside time, at the park, riding a bike, what ever she likes really.
I am that child who is now an adult heheh
Of course. My ASD son is ridiculous. Hes 10 so it's books and random but of stuff, not toys. BUT diagnosis or not, they are perfectly capable of being tidy. With the right motivation.
My kids ask for things and I say 'you can have x for Y time once you clean up the table/playroom/your room and put things where they belong. If you stuff it into the cupboard you won't see or do X for a week'.
If it's not successfully done 'put stuff away or lose it'.
I also teach them to declutter and we negotiate on what goes. I give them power and choice and decision making. It works brilliantly for my son, who is a rule follower but messy.
Every kid/adult I know with ADHD is like this. If you research the condition it can help you to become more understanding of how it happens which will also help you to help her. 6 year olds are not going to be able to clean whole rooms even if they did that themselves. Especially if she also has ASD and ADHD, way too overwhelming you need to possibly get her while she's making the mess and get her to pack up as she goes.
Mine is the same and it's so damn frustrating!