Please help, hubby and I are unsure how to deal with our 8 year old daughters behaviour.
Our daughter came home from playing at our neighbours house and tells me that she had wanted to steal one of her friends toys. I recognised the fact that she had been honest with me and glad she hadn’t taken the toy. She then burst into tears saying she had tried to take the toy by hiding it in her clothes and was caught. She was sent home, although she was already leaving. We have chatted with our neighbours and they mentioned another similar situation we weren’t aware of. In all, they’ve said they’re ok, she’s just young etc. We haven’t allowed her to play there again for now as a punishment. We spoke to her sternly about stealing and knowing it’s wrong, we expressed our disappointment etc.
4 days pass and my daughter and I are at the supermarket. When at the register, I notice her playing with slime. I ask her is she trying to steal it and she says yes. She tells me “it’s not the whole container”. I tell her to go and put it back. Once in the car, I speak to her again about stealing and the fact that it is not acceptable.
We don’t know what we’ve done wrong. We feel as if we’ve failed as parents. We are after some advice please on how to deal with this, how to get across to her how serious this is and to stop this from happening again. TIA
5 Replies
You haven’t done anything wrong, it’s just a stage but I would also get her to see a child psychologist if this keeps up. Just incase it’s something more. They will get to the bottom of it. Yes she is young but not that young to not understand you. Maybe next time say to her, you don’t need to steal it and if you want it then maybe you can do some jobs for it and I can but it but we never steal. I think she needs to also see you buy something and know if can be bought for her if she does the right thing, just to see if this helps in anyway. One good thing is that she is very honest with you and isn’t sly about it. It’s like she almost doesn’t even know why herself. Most kids who are stealing wouldn’t be so honest. Try and ask her why she wants to steal and that is she wants something so badly then she can do a job for it. Also maybe try some pocket money at her age now, so she can have money when you go to the shops and she can learn that way Also. With the neighbour. It may just be that she has different toys and it’s a little bit envious and would love her toys but getting it across that maye we can ask to borrow one for a few days and then we can return it but we never steal.
Sounds like it comes from wanting and either having no way of getting, no impulse control to wait, or jealousy of others having.
You haven't failed her. I have a sticky fingered son, he's now 12 and sadly, it's worse then ever.
There are many reasons she's doing this. In our case, my son is selfish, and self righteous. It's a personality trait in this instance. We can catch him red handed and he will look you right in the eye and deny it.
She may feel like her friend has more things then her, and she's jealous. The fact she is honest about it with you, tells me she's just not grasping why it's wrong
Personality trait lol yeah right.
No wonder your step kids don't get the help they need.
It tells me she’s letting her mum - the provider of all her things - know she really, really, badly wants these things