I’m working full time, shift work, I have a manager which is fine, con workers which I’m getting to know been there a few months.
My new supervisor has come back to work, I don’t know how to take her, except rude at the moment. She doesn’t say good morning nor hello, everyone in the work area does. When I have spoken to her or tried to, she either seems to pretend I’m not there (won’t make eye contact) or talks over the top of me. Even while I’m just asking a question? Confused how to handle this one.
How do I communicate with other women?
How do I communicate with other women?
Posted in:
Behaviour
6 Replies
She could be a rude, arrogant b-word or she could be neurodivergent (autistic and/or ADHD). I'm both (AuDHD) and I'm terrible at all those things you mentioned: I rarely remember to say good morning, I struggle with small talk, making eye contact and remembering when it's my turn to talk. Interrupting conversations and speaking over people is my ADHD taking over.
I'm not saying she's definitely ND but if she is, she may be painfully aware of her inability to communicate on a neurotypical level. It's not a deficit, it's just different.
Benefit of the doubt, IMO.
It depends does she do it to just you or others. Since she’s your supervisor, if you asked for time for a question or issue, how is it handled? Because ND or not she has a role she’s being paid for. Your recourse is to put in a complaint to hr.
Original commenter here; I agree. If someone is a supervisor they must be a decent communicator even if their style is "different". If you can't find a solution between you or with your direct manager then you need to go further up. I have a hard time communicating with my colleagues at times at times because our styles are different. My manager has helped smooth things over many times because I've had some (older) co-workers take my not greeting the team (or engaging in small talk in general) very personally. Neither of those styles are wrong, mind you, they can be conflicting though.
Not all supervisors are decent communicators, even many managers are horrendous at their job but get the job through “friends” or no one else wanting to take it on.
Yes, far too many people get supervisory roles on seniority rather than leadership skills
Neurodivergent is not an excuse to be rude. Also women/girls are usually better at masking it and learn how to do this from a young age. This person could also possibly be burnt out, have something going on in their personal life they are trying to hide (e.g. DV), or they could even be feeling depressed. You also have no idea what happened before you worked there and it could just be a toxic environment. Really all these guesses do not give you any answers at all!
The main thing is to realise this is a problem they have and not anything to do with you. If it is making it really awkward or effecting your work, it may be necessary to have a discussion and if still not resolved look elsewhere ;)