I'm hoping to get some insight and guidance for those that have come before me.
Recent separation from my husband of many years. This was initiated by me. Not due to Infidelity or any major incident. Just complex life, and multiple mental health issues in many family members, meaning our day to day life and circumstances just dont work. We have been trying for a long time to make things work and both our buckets are empty. Separation is amicable, we do t hate each other, things just don't work.
We still are sexually attracted to each other and have always had great sex (not often enough at times as life got in the way).
My question is should we be open to occasional sex/intimacy if boundaries are clear?
What are your stories?
10 Replies
No.
It blurs the boundaries.
No way. Find someone else. Anyone else. keep things good between him by being respectful with good boundaries and your own private lives.
No what’s the point.? You may aswell be together still. Separation is separation. Maybe you aren’t as ready as you thought for separation. Why don’t you both move away somewhere and try to start new, without all these people around and live your lives for yourselves with out the dramas. Just a suggestion. If not, end it for good, while you are amicable because if you keep sleeping with each other, it will end up at some point getting nasty. Finalise it now, who’s no one gets hurt.
Nope, one of you will end up very confused and hurt. It’s sends mixed messages.
If you want to break up, you have to stop the intimacy.
If you initiated the break up, it would be a pretty cruel thing to do because you don't really know if he still has secret feelings for you.
You can't have your cake and eat too.
Don't use people, if you don't want to be with him, set him free so he can find someone who does or at least start the healing process.
Is separating from him going to fix the things that were taking your energy? Sounds like you need some time just for the both of you, not a separation
Lol why separate then ffs
My husband and I went through similiar. We lived seperately for a while but wernt 'separated'
It gave us both some breathing space. We were still intimate with each other, and I don't regret it at all.
We have just come out of what sounds very similar.
We slept together for about 6 months while living together seperated.
It didn’t blurs any lines for us.
I think we both ended up on tinder about the same time and iv been dating for the last month so we haven’t slept together since then.
Still super amicable.
No blurred lines.
It worked for us.
You do what you are comfortable with. This would not have worked for me and my ex but if you will be “separated under one roof” and getting benefits you would be ripping off the system. Just know the clear rules and requirements where Centrelink is concerned… if sleeping together you aren’t separated.