Hello Sisterhood!
I really need some advice today…I have 4 children, 3 are teenagers and one is only four.
My 15 year during the past year has become a typical teen boy, moody, bursts of anger when challenged on a behaviour, mucking up at school (nothing too serious) etc. He is my 3rd child so I have gone through this a little with his oldest brother but never to this extent.
I truly believe that his friends are having a huge detrimental affect on his behaviour and attitude. He has ditched his nicer and more “normal” friends for friends that are much more into walking around the streets and hanging out with Eshay kids etc.
I have tried to be accepting and loving. I set clear boundaries and expectations around what I will and won’t allow, his behaviour whilst with these friends etc. Many of his friends come from homes where one or both parents are quite checked out of parenting their child and just let them do what they like or actually join in with these young 15 year old boys and encourage silly, risky behaviour. His best mates dad smokes Pot with him for example.
So that leads to last night and my son had his friend stay the night. I told him I obviously expect that they will stay at home and not go wandering in the middle of the night and so on. So I wake at 2am to get a drink and check the front door is still locked and go to bed. My husband got up 10mins later to go out the front and get air as it was hot and sees the two boys jumping back over our side fence and going in the back door! 😡 My question is “What would you say or how would you handle this?”
My opinion is to speak with them both when they wake up and tell them that’s not on and very dangerous blah blah and then speak further with my son about it once his friend leaves. I was going to obviously tell him no more friends over for a while, no meeting up at the shops or park for a while and another chat about my boundaries and expectations BUT should I do more? Confiscate his phone? Do I tell the other boys mum? I think he does this stuff a lot at home.
Sorry for the long winded post, I’m just at my wits end and feeling lost. Thanks!
15 year old son sneaking out!
15 year old son sneaking out!
Posted in:
Teenagers, Tips and Advice
6 Replies
Confiscate his and no more sleep overs. Explain to him how dangerous it is. Speak to the other parent also and explain how there won’t be anymore sleep overs. If something had happened to that boy , he is in your care and you’d have to live with that. Check his room to see if he is vaping also. It seems the norm with this age now. Sit him down and tell him your concerns. Explain to him how he is such an amazing kid and you are worried because these kids don’t have the same upbringing and parents that couldn’t care less where they are. Explain the things that can happen. Def take his phone so he can’t contact anyone. I always said if my kids got in the wrong crowd, we would move away and I still stand by it. We only get one chance at this and they can take one of 2 paths. I hope your son doesn’t continue to follow his friends. It’s such a worry as a parent, where our kids will end up and who they are influenced by.
Thank you for your response! I have said and done all of these things already so sounds like we are very similar in our parenting 😊 I am fairly certain he isn’t vaping as his older brother had a very small dip into the vape world when he was about this age and so we did a lot of research and looking into all of the health hazards when that happened. I have also threatened him hard core about not doing it! I always have a little rummage around in his draws when I’m putting his clothes in his room.
I will definitely speak with the other parent and confiscate his phone.
You are doing an amazing job. It’s tough being a parent.
Thank you! 😊
Thank you for your response! I have said and done all of these things already so sounds like we are very similar in our parenting 😊 I am fairly certain he isn’t vaping as his older brother had a very small dip into the vape world when he was about this age and so we did a lot of research and looking into all of the health hazards when that happened. I have also threatened him hard core about not doing it! I always have a little rummage around in his draws when I’m putting his clothes in his room.
I will definitely speak with the other parent and confiscate his phone.
Thank you for your response! I have said and done all of these things already so sounds like we are very similar in our parenting 😊 I am fairly certain he isn’t vaping as his older brother had a very small dip into the vape world when he was about this age and so we did a lot of research and looking into all of the health hazards when that happened. I have also threatened him hard core about not doing it! I always have a little rummage around in his draws when I’m putting his clothes in his room.
I will definitely speak with the other parent and confiscate his phone.