Is any one able to help me or advise me on this.
Im loosing my mind now.
I've been battling DV for a while now. We have been separated for 15 months and have been in an out of court in that time frame. We have no kids or property together etc.
We should be walking away. But he won't let go.
The police took a full intervention order out on him one night and he was arrested ending our relationship.
I work in health care. I work out of a few rooms.
I came to discover my ex attended one of these rooms. I was lucky I was off that day. He isn't aloud 200m from any where I work.
I reported this to the police after talking to my lawyer.
The police asked for evidence.
So I went into work and printed off a request from which we have access to on a daily basis.
I handed this to the police and my ex was arrested
Its now a mess a big big mess.
His lawyer wrote to HR letting them know I breached my exs privacy. My ex also wrote my boss a letter saying how violated their employee (me) has made him feel.
They sent email after email to my work
My work said they will try and protect me.
A few weeks ago I was reported by work to the privacy act and asked to resign from my position.
The said by me resigning I can come back when this all blows over. How can I go back knowing he can come in again?!
Im now back in court where my ex wants an order on me for "harassing him though his medical rights". Mind you he had 38 other rooms where I don't work that he could of attended.
Im lost. Im hurt. I feel betrayed by my work.
Im a full time single mum with no child support to a child with disabilities.
Does any one know where I stand or where I should go from here.
My heart is aching. All my years of work and study gone. My daughters life turned up side down due to my loss on income
I start to think why did I bother listening to the police and my lawyer and breaching him.
Narcissist always win đź’”
7 Replies
Find another massage place to work?
That's about all you can do for now.
Sorry, this happened to you.
I would only breach him if he came near me in real life (deliberately), to try to minimise courts/lawyers/money/drama.
Do not resign. Make them sack you if they dare. It sounds like you broke confidentiality, you should have directed the police to your employer to get the medical records. It’s a strange one.
There are definitely many groups around now who advocate for women who have their lives destroyed by this kind of thing - the dv perp turning it and causing issues and then the victim loses their job because people don’t want to get involved. That’s not ok anymore. If you go back, he was the one who first broke the order. Whether you breached privacy or not while confused by police requesting proof, that is a separate matter - the fact remains he broke the order, and he needs to be held accountable. The evidence can be called to court and the police have advised you wrongly to get a patients records instead of doing their job. So if everything you say is true, then they failed you here.
If I was you, I’d apply for other jobs away from anywhere near where you live and get away from there but don’t resign. You were scared for your safety and done what you thought was right..don’t sign anything. If they want you gone, they need to sack you. You also need to protect yourself. Why did he go there knowing you work there when he has an order on. Surely he could have gone elsewhere. Stand your ground with your work. Hopefully now he leaves you alone.
Get your lawyer to fight it. He shouldn’t have been there and you are scared for your life. He had no need to be there. You need to protect yourself but don’t resign what ever you do.
If he breaches again let the police investigate it. That’s their job. Tell them to get statements and or documents from your workplace. See if your entitled to free legal aid re the breach of confidentiality.
I know this is probably not an option for you, but from myself, I would move. I would leave town or the state and start new. I probably wouldn't tell anyone either. Your safety is most important here
Yes they do not quit and I am sick and tired of people just assuming these toxic, disgusting men stop when you leave, they do not and they often get worse.
I would definitely be looking for legal representation from someone who is known to go for the jugular. He knew he was not allowed within a certain distance from you, he still attended your place of work and if he did not know you were not there that demonstrates he intended to break the orders.
Do not go for any legal representative who is not aggressive. My relative looked around and found someone who let her pay it off as she realised her lawyer was too soft and not being listened to. Keep in mind it is still a male dominated industry.
As another suggested please access your union but be aware they may step back if you are already seeking assistance from an external lawyer.