Hi IMs,
Can anyone offer any advice for navigating the transition where your teen is gaining an independent life from you?
It’s extra tricky as my teens have medical conditions where I have had to give up my husband, friends, family, job, and home to be their full time carer.
I’m now feeling lost, a little less purposeful and unfulfilled keeping house, as I’m still unable to work or go out much (it’s complicated so I won’t go into why) and old (I’m turning 40 this year) wondering where my life has gone.
Has anyone else felt like this? And how did you move on?
2 Replies
Turning 40 is not old!!! You’ve definitely shut yourself off from the world while investing it all in being a carer or just a parent and nothing else. It’s time to start to build your own identity. I love my job, it’s part of my identity - all the study and research I’ve done and I still have a high interest in the field. I love my colleagues they keep me sane daily, and also for social events. Obviously income helps pay bills and open opportunities as well, for outings, exhibits, events, concerts, experiences, interests, courses and travel. All of those things put you out in the world doing things you enjoy, building your sense of self as a person, as a a student, a colleague, a teacher, a friend, a mentor, that’s what you need.
Gosh you blame your kids for so much, I hope you have never said that to them.
Many people have special needs kids and manage to have partners, friends and family.
Maybe the kids aren't the common denominator?
If your kids are at school, plus have social lives, I honestly think the best thing you can do for yourself is get out of the house more.
Get a hobby, maybe study something, join a group and when you're comfortable, get a job.
If you need therapy to achieve this, it would be money very well spent.
You have a very negative, defeatist attitude, like there's a reason why you can't do anything.
Maybe get evaluated by a GP, you may have depression.
Good luck.