... I'm not sure why I feel guilty though.
I know I am struggling at the moment because of a very recent betrayal and I might be just lashing out trying to regain control of my situation... So of these people I've known for years but rarely interact with me and I seem to be more of a "look at me, I have 600+ friends" kind of attitude.
I've unfriended another family member who offers zero value or enrichment to my life apart from snooping for details about others.
Why do I feel guilty about tidying my circle of "friends," when I just want to dig a hole, buy a house in the middle of nowhere and disappear at the moment? I mean, they won't miss me or notice that I'm gone.
Why do I feel so hurt, or hurt enough to feel I need to shut people out and why do I feel so bad for doing it?
PS. I posted about my ex partner cheating and having a baby with someone else and everyone knew but didn't bother telling me.
7 Replies
I do this as well, I now have less than 100 friends because I have serious trust issues with anyone that knows my ex so off they go. Don't feel bad, you had trust broken by many people, you deserve to protect yourself and keep your circle small.
Hi there, I guessed it was you before I got to the end. I went through similar and also did the same. I would say it’s a coping mechanism, a stress response where you can’t handle any more and need only 100% good people near you, you said yourself you’re creating a new inner circle, and you’re also going through a huge and sudden and shocking change in your life, so you’re cleaning house.
I say do what you have to do for yourself right now. But also see a psychologist, they’ll help you work through it and come out well.
Don’t feel bad , I was like this but once I cut them off and didn’t hear from them, I felt so much better as time went on. I am so glad I cut them off. My mental health is so much better for it. You need to do it and keep remembering that they felt no guilt in betraying you, so don’t feel bad. You are doing the right thing.
You have just been through a massive betrayal. Please be kind to yourself. I felt like an absolute idiot when my ex was sleeping with all these women and all these people knew about it! He convinced me I was imagining all the red flags and it was all in my head - typical gaslighting.
Afterwards I no longer knew who I could trust and I ended up cutting out alot of the deadwood. Was worse when I found out some people were laughing about it and calling me dumb! I still see them sometimes in passing and they are still the same. Really these people are just unhappy individuals and you eventually transcend all of them.
It's time to look after you and over time find some people who 100 percent have your back.
You are hurting, you do not know who to trust, it's okay to just focus on you for a while and heal 💕
Do not feel guilty for tidying up your acquaintances.
Everyone sees spring cleaning as a good thing. Why is spring cleaning your friends list and real life interactions seen as a bad thing?
I have less than 30 FB friends, they're all people I know and/or interact with regularly.
I have been cutting people off left right and centre. If they disturb my inner peace and don’t contribute then see you later. I’ve cut family members off and “friends”. I just got to a point in life where I was sick of being disappointed or let down and sick of being the only person to reach out. Phones work both ways but I was always the one putting in the effort. Don’t feel guilty you deserve peace and you deserve to be surround by people you trust. After a while you’ll let go of the guilt and you’ll be much happier.
Do not feel guilty for tidying up your friend list - I do it on a semi-regular basis. I have decided I don't have room for people who post negative content or continually post things that go against my grain. 5 great friends are worth a lot more than 100 crappy ones especially when you are needing to protect your own mental wellbeing. For what it's worth I am proud of having less than 30 friends because it is an honest reflection of who I can trust and who I consider true friends.