Together 20 years married 15 4 kids together Separated about 1 year ago
His was a gamer and didn't have time foe us
How do I let him go i fell out of love with him about 4 years ago stayed together for the kids now his has feelings for an old friend of ours I get upset and Anxious when he gos on a date with her. She's stop talking to me and the kids as soon as she found out we separated I don't love him at all his has become a better dad now we ant together. And sees the kids everyday she doesn't like him spending so much time with the kids. His thinking off stop seeing her as he know it upset me but I don't want him too but then I do as if she's going to be mean to the kids now u never know what will happen. He gets upset and sad if he sees her or doesn't talk to her how i let go and make him happy
Let go
Let go
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
6 Replies
How & why do you even know when he's going on dates with her? If you're still living together, one of you needs to leave. "Separated under one roof" NEVER works, because at some point one of you will start dating, and this problem comes up.
If you're not living together and he's telling you about his new relationship, you need to stop him. Just say "not my business & I don't want to hear about it. You do what you want & leave me out of it".
The only way to move on is to cut ties. That means only speaking to him in relation to the kids & finances until the property settlement is done.
You know way too much about his personal business, and as you say, it's affecting you.
It's up to him how he balances his time between seeing her & the kids. If she has a problem with how much time he spends with the kids, he needs to deal with that - but I'd put money on the fact that she doesn't care that he sees the KIDS, it's more that he sees YOU at the same time.
But again, it's up to him to deal with that situation. Not you.
It sounds like neither of you have truly separated your lives.
You need to actually separate. That means seeing each other less. Seeing less of his social media. Having a more organised arrangements that don’t have you in each other’s pockets. If he is picking up kids, that means a quick hello, and bringing them back at a set time etc.
He shouldn’t be telling you about his love life, unless it’s a long term partner he wants to bring around the kids. It’s ok to tell him, you don’t want to hear it. Set boundaries.
If you truely love someone, you only care about their happiness even if it’s not with you…. You sound like you may just be abit possessive, like you don’t want him but you don’t want anyone else to either
Firstly Wow what a man to think he is going to put his kids first and stop seeing her.
Secondly.. you don’t need to know what he does, so how ever you are finding out, you need to put a stop to it. Your kids come first and he is doing the right thing and that’s all that matters.
She isn’t no friend if she stopped talking to you and your kids. She was prob after him or knew her intentions at that time.
I think he’s a smart man to dodge her and put the kids first and you need to not know about what he is doing. As long as your kids are ok, it’s all you need to know.
You say you fell out of love… Not much more to say. Move on and let go. What he does isn’t any of your business. It’s costs nothing to wish him well. He is your children’s father and you have mentioned he is a better father being separated. Let them find their own way. Too much energy wasted on someone you don’t even love. Be the best parents you can and let each be.
You need to move forward, who he dates and what he does is none of your interest, stop knowing about the dates and what he does. The only interest is knowing the kids are happy and cared for when he sees them.