My husband has a work xmas party coming up. Originally he asked if i wanted to come with him and i said yes. However now i have found out i will be the only spouse attending as everyone elses spouses are busy.
Now i dont know if i should go. I have social anxiety and im worried being the only one there who doesnt work there, ill be a third wheel and not have anything to talk about. Im happy for him to go without me, im just upset i cant now or do you think it would be fine to tag along anyway.
Can i just edit, this isnt a boys night out like alot seem to emply. Its a work lunch xmas party with both women and men who work there. I have met them before and my husband has said to me he wanted me to go.
8 Replies
It will be fine, go anyway. Just arrange plans to leave early if you don't like it.
The thing is, its a lunch cruise. So once im there, im there lol.
Oh lol. I would definitely go then, it's not like you're pushing your way in you were all invited. Sounds like fun and if you feel like they're all talking amongst themselves you can kick back and watch the scenery.
I’m sure there will be a few other females there. Just go and enjoy it. Have a drinks and the rest is history😂
I can sympathise in a way. During my company Christmas parties, they are usually in public at a venue. I suffer from conductive hearing loss. A lot of people don't know, they just think I ave a loud voice and I'm outgoing. (Fake it until you make it.)
We recently had a social event and I was more or less dragged there. I sat there, completely silent and petrified. I couldn't follow the conversation. The environment was loud and because the lighting was darker (on the roof with little Christmas light things, the theme was rustic) I couldn't read lips or make out facial expressions. Even with my glasses on.
So I sat there awkwardly and didn't now what was happening. One of the girls who knows I'm legally deaf pulled me aside and dragged me to the bar. She bought me a gin & tonic and told me that will help me blend in a bit more. She also ordered food to distract everyone. It worked and I zeroed into my tribe for a few hours.
I've since let a few more of the managers know about my deafness and how it creates a bit of anxiety.
They've all come to realise that I've never come to functions because of that reason.
I can totally understand the anxiety of being the odd one out but you know, these people will more than likely bend over backwards to ensure you'll have a good experience.
As someone who also struggles with social anxiety. I say go! You were invited, why on earth shouldn't you just because other people can't make it!
I try really hard to not let my SA rob me of good experiences these days (life's too bloody short) and I find when I push myself out of my comfort zone, whatever I was freaking out about beforehand (like being the only spouse for example) turns out to be a complete non issue. I usually end up having a great time as well.
Even on the rare occasions where i went somewhere and felt awkward and uncomfortable AF, I still end up feeling proud of myself because I gave it a go and because I survived despite having a shitty time.
As a side note, I went to one of my partners work do's and I wound up being the only spouse to come. I felt very included and welcome, even when the conversation was work related.
Do it. The best way to reduce anxiety is to prove it wrong. If you allow avoidance to take over then your anxiety actually increases. You do not want anxiety to be the reason you miss anything. Ask yourself if you would go if you did not struggle with social anxiety?? There's your answer <3
I just went to a 50th with my partner and only knew him. I was so anxious leading up to it but still pushed myself because I knew it was important for me to crush those fears. Let me tell you, I stood there sweating for a bit but everyone was so lovely I ended up having a great time. If you do not go, you will most likely regret letting your fears win. Plus your husband wants you there, that's pretty special.