Hi. It may be a long one.
So I’ve been seeing someone for over two years now. We live in different towns (3hrs drive one way) I always go to his 2-3 nights a week. We both have kids. I go to his when my kids are with their dad. He is a shift worker so I just go when I can and see him when he's home. He has his son on his days off. So he never comes to mine (very rarely anyway) our kids are young 7-9yo's. We've had some problems with him being 'over strict' with my kids and them not wanting to see him but have worked on that. I have no intentions of moving for at least 3-4 years and I know he will never move here and leave his son. So it will be another few years of me doing this drive weekly. I'm also having issues with his son who is 9. Only child and thinks he's an adult and better than everyone. He manipulates his dad constantly and I honestly don't trust or believe anything that comes out of his mouth. I'm trying to be kind but I really struggle even talking to him.
I'm also starting to feel like I'm not getting any time for me to do the things I want. Like getting back into sports I loved pre children as I just don't have time cos I'm either with my kids doing mum stuff (which I love) or I'm at his place and just slipping into his life there.
Our sex life is great. I know he loves me and cares for me and wants us to be forever. And I love them and if I think of him not being in my life it makes me sad. But I also have wants and thoughts about my life with just me and the kids. I really don't know what to do.
He can be bossy and I guess tries to get me to do things his way. And I do get nervous/stressed when we are going to do 'family' stuff with the kids as I worry he will be too harsh again and upset my kids.
I don't even know what I'm asking just needed to get it out.
Thanks for reading it all
2 Replies
Don't go everytime you don't have your children, use one of those nights to do the sport or things you want to be able to fill your own cup too, being older and woth kids means its not together every chance you get but understanding you need to be individuals too. This also might show the side of him when he's not getting you every spare moment too.
If my child didn't want to see a partner or I was worried about doing 'family's things i would be weary regardless of how much i felt for him.
Sex with my vibrator is awesome and I don't have to worry about all of this negativity from someone who clearly is happy to allow someone else to put in ALL the effort and make me feel like shit.
This is not a healthy relationship. This is not forever and he does not love you.