Can you all please, in the simplest ways possible, tell me the steps I need to take after separating.
We’ve been de facto (not married), for 12 years.
Own a home (still have a mortgage).
Own cars- in his name.
Have 3 kids.
I’ve been a SAHM for 11 years.
It’s just so overwhelming when I have no support network to help me work through this.
No job to fall back on, or friends or family.
We’ve been separated under the same roof for a few months now, I think he’s just dragging everything out, hoping I’ll go back to him. And because he’s been in charge of everything, I feel like I have no ‘real world’ experience. So it’s scary leaving everything I know.
2 Replies
It's sad. You will be primary carer and get more. You won't be able to afford to pay him out for the house. He'll probably lose it too because you get a higher percentage. Go to mediation and find something that works for everyone
Get onto the legal aid, Centrelink & Relationships Australia websites, there's heaps of info, advice & checklists.
Get copies or screenshots of all bank accounts, debts, important documents.
Get the house valued.
Get a job. Any job.
Get your car rego transferred to your name while he's somewhat amicable.
Split finances as much as you can right now.
Kick him out (or move out yourself). You need to make it clear you're not getting back together.
Organise parenting payment through Centrelink (I'm not sure how this works with him living there still).
Organise child support, either a private agreement or through CSA.
Organise mediation for parenting plan and also property settlement.
Try to get the property settlement done ASAP. I discovered recently that property settlements are based on assets & debts as at the date of settlement, not date of separation. So, you each have to hand over financial statements to each other for the previous 12 months - an insane privacy intrusion when you've been separated (or divorced) for years!!!