Long winded sorry.
My mental health Journey, has been a mess for the better lart of 2 years.... not because I don't manage my bipolar and borderline personality, but because Australia's mental health system is so broken, is it any wonder people are killing themselves, having no support.
I was lucky in the beginning to be honest. I was diagnosed fast, thanks to a very passionate psych. For 10yrs, she was brutally honest, but also so supportive, she helped me understand my nervous breakdown i suffered in 2017. But as life is, her life was hers, and she had no choice to retire. She handed me off to another, very outside the box psych who gave me so much support. He had a filthy mouth, he didn't look at me like a text book but a human being, who was allowed to have normal emotions like any one else, with out it being some form of mental break down. Sadly, he retired almost 2 years ago.....This is where my life has begun to swallow me whole, my mental health is consuming me. I have dark thoughts of Suicide, and I'm on the verge of a nervous break down for the second time in my life. Honestly, I don't think I am completely recovered from the first. I have been referred to several new psychs.... one, was too by the book, and didn't agree with my treatment plan. Wanting me to use meds iv already had negative reactions too. He's very by the book, and he admittedly, and very politely, suggested I seek some one else as he wasn't comfortable using non traditional method with meds. He was very lovely and honest. But it just wasn't a good fit. The last 3 I haven't even gotten 2 see, with them leaving before I even got dates for my first appointments.
I need a med change, drastically. Right now, the things going on in my life, things i wouldn't wish on my worst Enemy, have really affected how I'm coping. My second psych, gave me the right to adjust my meds accordingly to my life's dramas. He wrote scripts that provided me with 2 boxes for the price of one each sceipt with the approval of medicare, that required a special script. He had full trust in my ability to recognise my ups and downs, and because of that, I was stable for a long time. Now I have no psych, and I'm stuck on a very low dose of antidepressant, that I need to double. My antypsychotics need adjusting also. I'm beginning to feel paranoid. I know the things I'm seeing and feeling are not real, I'm currently stable enough to recognise this, but for how long. Im currently pulling chuncks of hair from down below until im in so much pain, and bleeding. If its not down their, its my scalp. Im also pulling clothing, sheete, sofas apart, as i feel around looking for lose thread, and i pick at them until i can pull them out, my fingertips, are sore, Bruised, and the skin is almost broke ....this is OCD, and its quickly taking over. My gp can't adjust my doseage with out a psychs say so. Our emergency department has already sent me home. Acted like I was seeking drugs.... all I wanted was to be admitted to the psych ward for a few days for a med adjustment. The moment the hospital hears the word bipolar, their treatment of u changes drastically. I feel so broken, with no support around me. No one understands. The fact that I do recognise my cycles leaves people labelling me as melodramatic and attention seeking, that i dont even bother twlling people any more, not even my long term partner....Iv Been aware of my bipolar and birder line since 2004, I know when I need help.
Australia's mental health system, a mess... it's leading to my end
Australia's mental health system, a mess... it's leading to my end
Posted in:
Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression
6 Replies
Are you in the city? Look up which public hospital has the most mental health beds and go to that ER, tell them what's happening to you and how you're feeling. Our mental health system is hideous, I've had a taste of it myself with my teenage son and also witnessing my friend and her family trying to seek help for her schizophrenic brother. Most of our homeless people are people with mental health issues that have slipped through the cracks and I say cracks but they're more like gorges because if people with severe mental health issues don't have family support they are left to manage it themselves which is not possible with severe illness. Please don't let this defeat you, go back to the hospital if they ignore you again call an ambulance and say you want to kill yourself.
I'm semi rural. We currently have 4 psychs in our region. Surrounding places won't take people out of the region. I tried as far up of coffharber down the Newcastle, with no hope.
Iv just been on the phone today, a new psych is starting in a month, so open books, my name has been put down. And a referral has been faxed. I just hope to hell, that this psych, isn't closed minded, and too by the book. Those who are by the book, tend to look at u differently, more of a case, and not a person. Apparently he's young, so hopefully that means more up to date with new medication to treat people with such diagnosis. My meds are originally for epilepsy, but over the past 5 years, it's been shown to have great results as an antypsychotic.
The problem with bipolar, is the use of antidepressant, can affect how the antypsychotics work. So with increasing anti D's, the anti P's also need to be adjusted to avoid an manic. My manics are paranoia, mild delusions, rage, extreme depression, and Severe anxiety. I feel I need an anxiety medication is needed. I'm lucky, being I see my cycle coming, not that it stops it from happening, but I'm aware, and hope that means I have time yo get that help, but I'm already in an episode and I know that little bit of clarity I have, won't last long
Please go to hospital if things get really bad. Do not just leave it. If you have to go there every day until they do something then do it. You know how you feel and your illness better than anyone else. It's just sometimes easier for them to turn people away if they think they can cope or find help in the community. They have extended the uni time for anyone to become a Psychologist so that is going to cause greater demand. Do not let them ignore you x
She needs a psychiatrist not psychologist.
She needs both.
My mum is bipolar but she never recognises when she's slipping, but I do (even before my dad).
She is a part of community mental health, so I usually contact them and let them know.
It's great that you recognise it yourself, so many don't.
You could always present at emergency suicidal - you know that's their biggest fear, that they let someone go home and they kill themselves.
There would be an enquiry, heads would roll etc.
It's like an indigenous death in custody.