Hey š
Iāll preface this with I canāt just go to the doctor and have an assessment done unless Iām 100 percent across it because his father and I are separated and the judgment and such Iāll receive from family members in regards to suspecting ADHD will be intense as half of them donāt believe in it and think itās lazy parenting and the other half believe in medicating them which Iām on the fence about.
Ok so I suspect my son who is 7, turning 8 at the beginning of next year is ADHD. And I was wanting advice on other parents who have a ADHD child on whether or not this sounds like ADHD or just a super energetic little boy. He is āonā from the moment he opens his eyes to the moment he struggles to keep them closed.
He has a heart of gold. Is so caring and loving and nice but heās struggling with relationships with people. Kids at school just donāt want to be his friend, weāre at his second school now, 3rd school like environment (including kindy) where heās had to deal with being rejected and bullied by his peers because heās so full on.
Heās super enthusiastic, especially when another child shows interest in playing him, so much so itās intense. Heās loud, almost dominating the conversation, huge hand gestures, uses his entire body to communicate when heās telling stories (I personally find it incredibly cute and endearing but Iāve watched him and the other kids get scared/ put off/ and even the other parents are like oh my god).
He struggles to listen, he struggles to follow direction and then when he gets in trouble at school or at home he gets really really down on himself and calls himself stupid and says things like āI know that, I know I am supposed to do that or this or whatever, my brain just wonāt let me remember mum, Iām so stupidā.
Heās so intelligent, his brain just absorbs information like crazy. He canāt tell you every fact about insects, about space, the planets, he explained to me why Venus has acid rain (went into detail about the cloud formations blocking the sun etc etc), the life cycles of different animals, heās a genius at maths and numbers. Not the best at reading or writing however. He doesnāt have enough attention span to get through a book. But will play minecraft for hours and build a very modern looking mansion with granite stone tops and a water feature š
He gets mad because the other kids arenāt playing whatever game theyāre playing how he wants it to be played or someone isnāt dropping everything to listen to his story. Heāll scream at the other kids and storm off, hands in the air, almost crying because theyāre ābeing meanā when all theyāre doing is just playing it a different way. Example- he was on the trampoline with his sister and 2 other friends of his age. They were playing crack the egg. There was a mix up about who was out and because they werenāt just listening to him and his word was law he screamed at them that they all hate him and stormed off inside. He breathes really heavy, clenches his jaw and his fists and gets really emotional when heās in those moods.
On the other hand heāll do anything to help anyone, heās very eager to be helpful. Heāll cuddle anyone and be the first to include someone thatās being excluded in the games. Heāll tuck his little sister in at night and tell her how loved she is. Heāll give me a random cuddle while Iām cooking dinner and say thanks mum for cooking dinner for me, youāre so beautiful.
Bedtimes are where I struggle. He just canāt sleep. I still lay with him because otherwise heās up and down until 10/11pm. I lay with him and his sister at 7. His sister (5yo) will be asleep by 715/730 and heās still trying to tell me every story he can think of. The stories blend into one big story and then I say ok buddy quiet time and closing our eyes. 20 minutes later heās still wide awake and Iām like bud come on close your eyes. And he says I know mum, Iām tired, my body is tired but my brain is awake, I canāt go to sleep, my brain wonāt let me. At first when he started with this āmy brain wonāt let meā I thought he was tricking but as time has gone on Iām seeing he really means it, he canāt switch his brain off. And the last 6 months heās getting really frustrated with it himself.
Not just the sleep but his relationships with other kids. Heās even asked me if heās normal because heās heard the teachers at school saying heās not normal (his teachers havenāt directly said anything to me or his father about him having ADHD).
Just recently my partner who has known my son since he was 2 (who has 2 boys himself of similar age, who are so chill and not at all like my son), has approached me and asked me to consider whether or not heās ADHD because heās intense, not naughty just so much energy all of the time.
Is that all normal 7 year old behaviour? Iāll add that he was walking at 8 months, would literally climb the fly screens and hang off curtain rods when he was 18 months old. All Iāve ever known is go go go with him but now heās in school and Iāve seen him with other boys his age, seeing him in a room with my partners boys who can sit and watch a movie while my son is from the couch to the room to the floor to play with toys to the couch again, back to the room, to kitchen and so on. Even when heās sitting heās still moving. My partner said you can literally see him ābuzzingā.
Does that sound like ADHD?
14 Replies
Awww your poor baby boy. Listen to your gut Mumma. You know best and please donāt tell anyone else, just book him into a Dr and get a referral and care plan for a child psychologist. They are amazing and they will get your little boy the correct diagnosis and talk to him and help him understand. No one needs to know or judge you. You are an amazing mum, doing all the right things to help your little boy. Block out unwanted comments. Some people are supportive and you know the ones who are. Keep them close and forget the others. Itās tough but you the right diagnosis will help you both. There is nothing wrong with a child psychologist either. They do an amazing job with kids. They have done wonders for my boy.
I completely and totally agree with this!!!! Block out the negative, judgy comments and trust your gut. I listened far too long to the negative and was so afraid of being judged, my son feeling like there something wrong etc! And believe me the behaviours get more challenging and kids figure out triggers and reactions as school progresses! My son suffered and struggled way too long! Now we are going to a child psychologist and paediatrician and itās like a weight is lifted off his little shoulders. Good luck and again, always trust your gut and love of your son!
Those are definitely descriptors or ADHD. If your child is struggling, then fuck what anyone things and get him the help. One thing you can do is just say - weāre investigating these specific difficulties and getting whatever help the professionals work out he needs. The other thing you can do is speak to the school and they may have a Go and Paed through the school, but at least speak to them because they will have an idea for sure, and this way you can also put it that you are just following school / Guidance officer advice.
Remember you donāt have to work it out before you go for diagnosis - itās quite ok to rock up and say this is whatās going on, and let them work it out, itās what they do.
It's also typical of a child who is gifted, I know you said he can't read or write very well but giftedness comes in many forms. He could be the sciency/maths kind. They absorb so much info and find it really hard to switch off. My daughter is academically gifted, before I knew this I thought she had ADHD as she was just so full on. Not long after that she read me a book at 3 years old after never being formally taught, she had learnt so much just from me reading to her and phonics from sesame street lol. I had no idea she was learning to read and I was so shocked I couldn't speak. She's 21 now, still has never watched a movie her brain just goes a million miles an hour. Reading your post described her when she was younger. Just another possibility to explore.
I just wondered if you had her tested etc? What that looked like or involved? and whether school supported that?
My sons teacher keeps telling me he is struggling at school however his naplan scores suggest he is well and truly on top of the content.
You can be both gifted AND ADHD, also
And you can be clever but absolutely struggle daily at school
Sounds 100% like my adult male partner with ADHD, and my friend's 6yo with it.
My friend gets melatonin for her boy to sleep, it's a natural hormone so might be a little bit better for him.
She also has him on ritalin (as is my partner) just to give HIM some normality. I understand people may be against "drugging" kids; but he already knows he's different and kids don't want to play with him. Don't let him suffer that.
My partner describes it as "100 different radio channels playing in my brain at the same time. Ritalin brings it down to 2".
These are definitely ADHD traits - poor baby, he sounds like he tries so hard. You'll need a paediatrician referral from GP. Be prepared that waitlists are big at the moment - I've just been diagnosed and am on waitlist for 11 year old with paediatrician. Save yourself some time though, see if you can identify paeds in your area who might be better for the situation/diagnosis you are seeking.
Russell Barkly on YouTube is AMAZING to watch/listen to about ADHD - very positive, informative and empathetic. Don't even entertain friends or family members who tell you you're a lazy parent or not disciplining, that's bullshit and we know better now.
Also, while I absolutely do not believe in getting too far ahead of yourself about meds and stuff, they work very well for a lot of people and are quite safe.
I highly suggest the group Adhd Whisperer on Facebook x
That sounds quite a bit like adhd. Possibly some ocd also. Get him assessed. It will help in the long run, plus give you some understanding of how his brain works.
Definetly similarities to my daughter who is on Ritalin for ADHD. So you dont feel the pressure is all on you talk to his teachers. Teachers aren't supposed to come out with a medical diagnosis but if you bring it up with them it can create a very clarifying conversation. Good luck
Yes this 100% sounds like ADHD and even autism. I am currently in the middle of this process with my 2 sons. Iām not sure where you are located but Iām in Victoria. It is a long process to get him assessed. You will need to get a referral to a pediatrician for the formal diagnosis and medication part (discussion) but the actual assessments need to be done by psychologists that specialize in this. I rang around the universities (psychology departments) and had mine assessed through them because it is much cheaper than going though a private psychologist (it just takes longer to get in so depending on how quickly you want him assessed, you need to decide if you are willing to pay the higher $).
Also something that stood out to me from your post - you need to have both parents consent for these assessments to be carried out unless there are formal court orders in place (like an IVO or the court has ordered these assessments). Just a heads up about it. It is completely wrong but it is the rules apparently.