This year, I planned my birthday in advance. Well in advance, Like, 3 months. I did this, because my mother is sick with cancer, and to Give extended family time to organise their lives, and also, so my sister can sort out her life too.
Her birthday is 1.5weeks before mine, she's older then me. Doe all of my adult life, she's only made a show at my birthday once, for all of an hour. She's ether set her party on my birthday and expected me to work around her, or she's made plans with her friends on my birthday to go away.
This may be my last birthday with our mum. We will be lucky if we get our Christmas together.
From the day I let her know, she was already not Interested. Well today, "I can't take time off work". I honestly think she made no effort to even try. She's had plenty of time to sort things out. Maybe I'm being petty, I don't know, but I just feel, just ad rejected as i have every other year
8 Replies
If it makes you feel any better I have had one birthday in the last 26 years where a family member was there and that was because I was staying at my sister's house at that time anyway. I don't see the big deal really, for me birthdays are just another day. If your Mum has cancer and there's not much time left I would be trying to organise for you all to be together for your Mum's sake not yours or anyone else's. Make it about your Mum you have the rest of your life to worry about your birthday.
This day is special for my mum knowing it may be her last with me. She's just as annoyed as I am
Don’t worry about your sister. You go and spend it with your mum and spend it making memories and how you want it. Book in for some special photos with your mum and don’t tell your sister. When she asks tell her it was your bday and she couldn’t make it. Make this day and every other day special and only about you and your mum. Forget about your sister. She’s not worth it. This time is for your mum and that’s all that matters.
Not the OP but I love this idea of the photos
I would just exclude her from your plans. Make the most amazing memories with your mum - don’t let her disappointing you sour this precious time.
I find people will always notice when your behaviour changes towards them but are not aware of their own behaviour that caused you to change.
Be selfish.
Celebrate your birthday with your mum. Your sister isn't actually under any kind of obligation to take leave from work for something you want to do for your birthday.
She's a big girl, she can sort out time to spend with her mum when she can.
Celebrate your birthday with your Mum!
I lost my dad he was 59 years old.
The best thing everyone did when I flew down to the hospital was leave him with me alone, I had a coffee frappe in my hand, he wanted it, I got someone to get me another, we sat together and drank our frappes.
I now get one and chat to him.
My in-laws always visit on my birthday, not because its my birthday, its on a long weekend and we live in a holiday destination. They couldn’t give two hoots about me and my day.
Celebrate with your mum and others that will be there. You will have a better time without your sister.
If she can't make the time to be there with you and your mum, then don't give her any second thought and make other plans on her birthday