Hi everyone,
I’m a single parent with adult kids who are living at home. One has flown the coup.
Have a mortgage and we are also in a rental crisis.
1 x 18yo, who has just started a casual job, earning approx $100pw and unable to get youth allowance (based on my income).
1 x adult child, partner and their baby.
My question is, what do you feel is reasonable for the ‘little family’ to pay?
Currently, I pay everything.
Utility bills are going through the roof (almost doubled in last year), mortgage is going up, household expenses going up, they have 2 bedrooms, living areas, and pretty much treat the house as their own.
I’m conscious of enabling them, and of course they need to learn their own skills for their own future and I know I’m not helping them long term, with just ‘letting it be’.
So it’s time to put my big girl pants on and see what advice I’m given, as initial conversations with my thoughts aren’t getting me anywhere and I’m going backwards financially and want to start enjoying my ‘me’ time, as selfish as that may sound!
Please be kind. There’s much more to the entire big picture.
14 Replies
20 year old should be paying half of utilities and their own food, they would be getting Centrelink and eligible for rent assistance so this is fair. I wouldn't charge 18 year old until they are earning more but I would be encouraging them to get a full time job unless they're studying as well. When earning more I would charge $100 a week
Thanks so much.
Exactly what I was thinking with 18yo.
This. But I would get them to give you a weekly amount that is what you expect the quarterly utilities bills to be. Say the electricity/gas/water is $900 in total a quarter then get them to contribute $40 week. They likely won't have $450 when the bills come in, but $40 a week is not as hard to find. I would actually double it and put the other $40 in an account for them as for when they move out. In 2 years that $40 will be over $4000 and be a wonderful surprise.
A proper rent - they have a good set up, and would get govt assistance and have two parents that can work, so they should pay rent for a 2b/r place - $250- $300 a week plus a portion of bills.
Thanks so much
I guarantee they aren't living there because they want to or its comfortable.
Geez have a heart and don't assume the worst of people.
I did not assume the worst but they are definitely making a choice and yes they are comfortable. They are a young couple and getting a rental for 400 or more a week is their other option that most people are living.
Wow talk about tone deaf, come down and live in the real world like the rest of us.
People living with family who can actually afford rentals because they aren't available.
All the caravan parks where I live are full with families.
Imagine how hard it is for a couple starting out with a newborn.
It is NOT a choice.
Wow, I bet your family don't come to you for assistance.
OP you are not mean for asking them to pay living expenses. You should absolutely not be struggling financially to support adult children and their partners and children, it’s just not and they won’t love you less for having them contribute and pay their way.
what does the "little family" earn?
are they at university or do they work?
I'm assuming they can't afford their own place, otherwise they wouldn't live with you.
Treat the house as their own, how else do you expect your daughter to treat her family home? Like a stranger?
Thank you! Mum can’t work, due to health stuff with the baby, but gets Centrelink.
Dad works casually.
Yep, rent is at an all time high here.
I'm sorry to hear about health problems, it's hard enough being a new mum.
I would personally want them to save to start their new life i.e. 4 weeks rent plus bond, furniture, stuff for the baby etc.
Since he's casual, I would probably charge 10% to 15% of their combined net income.
It also doesn't sound like you are enabling, but providing a safe place for your daughter and grandchild during a tough time.
I’m the adult kid, nearly 30 with a 10yo at old. Single mum no dad in picture, no child support etc. my dad is on comfortable income 110k+ a year, I was off work 7 months last year due to a major injury (usual income is roughly 1000pw clear, while injured no income still fighting workcover so off c/link 750pf) he charges me $250pw that includes everything but internet and groceries I still paid it while off injured. My mum (split with dad when teens) hates how much he charges per week as he’s comfortable especially when I was off injured however as much as it annoys me and I wish I could save more instead so I could move out (rentals ridiculous here I’ve applied for many a week and offer a year up front rent still no luck) we also take up 2bdrms and all living areas and he helps with school drop off and babysits when I work, so really can’t complain too much