For those single mums, how do you deal with the fathers not wanting to be involved in the children's lives, in this case he has moved interstate for his lover and doesn’t even ring the children only messages them. It’s hard on them and me.
Any advice is welcomed, even how to arrange custody and visitation, and formalising child support
3 Replies
The hard part is being for the kids, acknowledging and responding to how they feel while keeping your emotions under control and not winding them up and feeding into there pain.
Don’t push the relationship though. It won’t achieve anything. Assume you have 100% care and contact the child support agency. Get them to collect directly from him. Don’t count on the money, it’s bonus money.
If he wants to see the kids he can organise mediation (it can be done over the phone). Make him work for it a little bit at least before handing the kids over. He doesn’t get to swan in and out when he likes, he needs to commit to set times etc.
Yes I have the children 100% of the time.. I have nothing formalised though how do I make this official?
The mediation you speak of where is this through? I feel he shouldn’t just walk back in their lives just like that, he has caused emotional damage already to the poor darlings. I want him to see a counsellor before he sees them
You don’t need it formalised. Sometimes formalising it stirs up a hornets nest of trouble. Eg they fighting you on it when they don’t really want any care (making it harder on you and the kids in the long run).
Just report to child support agency.
If he ever asks about seeing the kids, tell him you what to have a discussion through mediation first and if he organises it you will participate fully. Most mediation centres have an education portion on how not to be a shitty parent in a divorce etc. he ran away so he can do the ‘hard work’ of making a phone call and setting it up to prove he’s genuine.
Relationships Australia is one place that does it, otherwise google family dispute mediation.