Looking for advice & people's experience that have partners with diagnosed bipolar that have manic episodes for days & weeks at a time?
I have a partner of 7 years that goes off meds approximately every 18mths & wreeks absolute havoc - doesn't sleep for days/ weeks at a time, makes extremely poor choices, verbally nasty, mountains of debt, usually ends in police involvement ending in weeks at a time in mental health facility.
A great guy when he is stable.
I've been nothing but supportive but am so worn down am wondering if I can sustain this relationship if he continues to go off meds.
Any advice or experience dealing with this kind mental health disorder specifically I'd be very grateful 🙏
Bipolar disorder
Bipolar disorder
Posted in:
Mental Health
3 Replies
Hi, I've been with my bipolar husband for 23 years, am happy to answer any questions you may have.
Look up bipolar support groups for spouses/partners on fb, there is alot of people going through the same thing who can offer support and empathy.
I have an absolute mountain of things I can tell you but I will try to keep it as short as I can..
Bipolar is not an excuse for bad behaviour.
If you are ever in doubt go back and read that line again.
He needs to take 100% responsibility for whatever actions he does, even when manic, he can't simply act like a dick and not face the consequences.
Part of that responsibility is responsibility for his own health, ie, taking his medication, avoiding triggers, eating well etc and seeing a gp or psychologist regularly.
I get that there are negative side effects to the medications but it sounds like he's not yet in a place where he can self mange and probably needs them.
Do not take on any of his debt, and make sure you keep your finances safe so he can't access when manic. Look after you first before you try to save anyone else.
When he is 'good' and stable, it is all part of the cycle and if you can track it you may be able to predict what's coming next so you can have a plan.
It's OK to say this isn't what you want and to let go of this relationship.
I have bipolar. In no way, should U feel the need to stay, just because he's wonderful when stable. Your mental health is just as important as his. That's alot of baggage to take on, especially with some one who won't stay on their meds.
My advice would be to tell him-
Get on meds, stay on meds, regular visits with specialist, or it's over. Then leave until he does the right thing.
As with all mental or physical health problems, regular medical guidance and support is needed for bipolar.
If you partner isn't prepared to stay under medical health support, you should prepare yourself for this pattern of behaviour to continue.
Only you know within yourself if you can continue with the relationship.
(I had to walk away from a sibling with bipolar as the toll on my own mental health was so great from assisting/cleaning up his mess)