This will be long and maybe confusing but I’ll try my best.
My sister in law and mother in law co- own a large property, however due to a large disagreement between the two my sister in law wanted to be bought out of the mortgage so she could purchase a house of her own. Fair enough- she has every right. Due to mother in law’s age she was not able to re mortgage the house so the house would have been forced to sale. My partner and his mother have a lot of assets tied in to this property so my partner volunteered to take on the mortgage. My partner borrowed enough money to buy out his sister but also to pay out the mortgage for his mother. The mortgage is solely in his name, but the title is in both his mothers name and his.
Now here is where the issue arises. We were meant to turn the shed into a house for us, but because my partner was only able to borrow enough to pay out his sister and take over the mortgage he has literally zero money left over, so we have not been able to do it straight away. So we have moved into the main house with mother in law and younger brother in law. Mother in law has not made any allowances for us. We have 2 shelves in the pantry, our fridge and freezer are outside and we are not even allowed to put our own TV in the second lounge room (converted granny flat which is where we are staying) meanwhile MIL has 2 fridges, 2 pantries and enough food in the house to feed a small army. I don’t feel welcome in the house and constantly feel like I need to tiptoe around.
The biggest issue now is older SIL’s rental has been sold. She was given 6 months to move out which is a fair time. Previous to my partner purchasing the property it was agreed that SIL would build a house at the back of the property.
MIL has paid for SIL new house and slab out of her pension. Slab was supposed to be laid last week, but due to rain and the soft ground a cement truck was not able to come out and do it. SIL was very angry.
I work from home, SIL came out to me whilst I was working and had a complete meltdown at me. Literally yelled at me saying she will now have to pay an extra $5k to get a driveway built so the concrete truck can get down to the property to set the slab. And she is going to be homeless because we won’t get out of the house…. What? I then said to her that she could temporarily move into the shed that we were going to fit out until the weather cleared up enough for her house to be built and until we managed to save up enough to fit it out. Apparently what I said was inappropriate because she then lost her shit and yelled out to me whilst I was dealing with clients and said “Why can’t you just F off into the shed.” Not only was I humiliated, but this has nothing to do with me and is not my issue. I feel this was completely out of line and it has honestly upset me.
Legally, this house belongs to my partner, he has to pay off a mortgage for the next 30 years and we are given a shed and 2 shelves in the pantry.
Not only this but I am left feeling that I have not contributed to the fit out of the shed, however I have purchased a brand new kitchen, appliances and all the windows. My partner has not purchased anything. My name is not on anything so I purchased this stuff to help my partner out.
Everyone is angry at everyone and I’m stuck in the middle.
SIL is expecting her mother to pay for everything out of her superannuation, even though her and her husband work full time, but they are in so much debt because they both can’t get their priorities together. SIL is bossing everyone around but she owns nothing on the property, my partner and I were both under the impression that since he has taken over the mortgage we would be living in the house. SIL still has 6 months until she has to be out, plenty of time for her to find other arrangements.
I am at the point now where I want out. I have been actively looking and applying for properties for just me and our kids. There are screaming matches almost every week about who owns what and the kids are terrified. MIL refuses to believe that her son owns half the property and still thinks that we should live in an unpowered shed. My partner is starting to think he has made a terrible decision and that money could have been spent on our own property. And I just want security for our children and somewhere I can work without people yelling and screaming at each other.
I’m stuck in the middle. Partner says that if this causes us to break up, he will never forgive them, we previously had a fantastic relationship, now we fight about this too.
Am I wrong for wanting to get out? None of this involves me, however I am being involved and I don’t want to be. None of this is my fault. I’m just a punching bag for everyone.
7 Replies
Sounds hectic! SIL needs to go. How that's going to happen I don't know but she needs to. You guys might need to get legal advice as it seems you've been taken for a ride.
Wouldn't the house she's building be half your husbands since he owns half the property? Jokes on her I guess.
Id be getting myself out of there as fast as possible! This all sounded like a terrible idea from the start. Did anyone think to get contracts drawn up stating how things would be handled if someone wanted out?
Yes your partner made a terrible decision, the family sounds hugely toxic, and I’d be going to a DV shelter, if I could because this sounds like a DV situation. There is financial abuse, verbal abuse etc.
This is not a safe situation for children or yourselves.
Get. Out. Your partner made a terrible financial decision, and now he's locked into it. I cannot imagine any solicitor would have let this go through without significant warnings, so your partner obviously ignored them. I would throw my hands up and walk away (not from your partner, just from the situation).
So now there are three sets of people who all believe they own everything and no compromises will be made.
And your partner paid out his mother, but didn't get her name off the title, so she still has 50% rights.
And your SIL has NO rights, and is just an entitled little bitch.
What an absolute clusterfuck.
Good god get out of there!
Ok this will sound mean, but the SiL has no legal rights to anything because she was bought out.
Your partner needs to seek legal advice asap.
I would move myself and the kids out to a rental and sell the kitchen and appliances I had purchased to recoup some of my own money.
It sounds super mean but I would be looking to put the property on the market.
Just to clarify… the sister that was bought out of the property was the younger sister. The sister who wants to build a house on the property is the older sister. Two different sisters.