My husband refuses to get help with drinking and I feel done

Please bear with me, this is a bit of a long one.

My hubby & I have been married for 7 years and have 2 children together. I want to leave my husband. I fantasize of nights alone without all the anxiety I hold for the relationship I'm in now. I love my husband, he is one of my best friends but I am not in love with him anymore. And I do not like his actions. In the last year perhaps a bit longer, my husband has began to struggle with alcohol. He has always been a social drinker/went to the pub on a Friday after work etc but wasn't nightly and could often go weeks without drinking without batting an eye because we were busy/ unwell etc etc. But since the birth of our last son and losing 3 family members close together 2 years ago, he started drinking more and more regularly. It's started going to the pub more frequently, then having a drink after the kids went to bed at home each night. I noticed the increase in consumption but also noticed the increased stress/grief in his life and he was openly taking about his struggles at first. Now a year later he still drinks every day, even just 1 beer. He can't help it. On days I think he hasn't drunk, the next day I will find a can or a bottle somewhere. He will occasionally go 2-4 days without a drink and I support him and he is doing better mentally then he starts again and anything is an excuse. He changes when he has a drink now because the drinks are getting stronger, his shorter with the kids, he doesn't look at me, will pick fights (big ones) and berate me, even just the way he looks at Mr and kids sometimes when he has had a drink is likes he HATES us. His not like that when he is sober at all but he doesn't talk to me about what's going on for him anymore. I've tried to get him to go to a councilor, we have discussed rehab, AA but he will go once to a meeting/ an appointment and never follow through. I am exhausted by this. I am tired of trying my best to support my husband through something I don't think he wants to fix. I'm sick of the excuses and the poor me attitude he has, like I haven't done everything within my power to get him help and support not just from his family but proper medical intervention and support. I don't know what more I can do. I may sound really selfish right now and I may be acting selfish, I'm not sure. I know my husband is an alcoholic, the path he is on is rapidly becoming more dangerous, from his actions outside the house under the influence, to his behaviour inside the house and around myself and our kids. If I leave, he deserves a conversation, he deserves to know why. I don't just want to leave without explanation but I really don't want him turn around and say he will go to rehab just to try and get me to stay (which he has said before). I struggle to find the courage to have these really difficult conversations and I just don't even know where to start. I just feel like if I left I wouldnt regret it.