My husband had multiple emotional affairs at the start of our marriage. He got caught, apologised and promised he wouldn't do it again. He has been messaging women throughout the 10 years , apologises and all the stuff. Last night I saw his messages again.
I dont what Im asking. Do I let it go? boys will be boys or confront? What happens when I confront.... more puppy eyes, apologies. Im tired, self esteem rock bottom.... I feel ugly, useless. If I have never done this to him then why does he play with my mind?
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8 Replies
Yick. Boys will be boys? No, he will be him that’s truth. And if you stay and let it slide you’ll live a life that’s much less than you deserve. Look how it’s affecting you. You only get one life, make big choices. Someone else will value you more, as you deserve, and being alone will harm you less, that’s really important.
Stop allowing it and stand up for yourself! Get your confidence back and own it. Do not let him do this anymore. Kick him out and teach him a lesson. He is a disrespectful dog!! No more. Don’t take it. You got this. Stand up for yourself and get the happy you back. This has nothing to do with you and it’s everything about him and the sly, disrespectful character he is. look what he has done to yourself esteem already. Enough is enough. You can do it, be strong & don’t back down.
You aren’t ugly and you aren’t useless. He is the ugly, useless, selfish and disrespectful pig. Please don’t tell yourself these things that aren’t true, all because your husband is a pig.
No you don't let it go.
Why try so hard? You can be done right now.
You're not ugly and you're not useless, it's not boys will be boys. He's just a cunt mate.
Unhitch your wagon and let that parasite go.
He is cheating on you in front of you. If he's willing to do this then what else is he doing that you don't know about. My ex used to try to tell me he was just being nice, or she was going through a tough time and he was the only one there for her OR my favourites.. it's all in your head, a man has needs, nature of the beast blah blah blah. Fact is he is a pig who slept with everything that walked and then tried to tell me all those red flags were just me being paranoid (Gaslighting). You feel low about yourself because this man does not respect you. I left, learned to appreciate being me and eventually found someone who treats me with so much love and kindness. Build yourself up and when you feel strong enough tell him to go f himself x
After being cheated on twice in my marriage, I have learnt leaving is your absolute best option. The best advice I was given was that he has already checked out but is a coward. Leave
I’ve been with my husband for 18 years married for 10. He has never messaged or engaged in inappropriate messages to another woman.
Don’t let the ‘boys will be boys’ stupid mentality give him an excuse for his bad behaviour.
He is doing it because you continued to let it. Leave, remember how awesome you are. Find a good therapist work on yourself and find you again. I promise you are worth more than that.
Please never let the phrase ‘boys will be boys’ come out of your mouth again. You’re worth more than that. That is a cop out and you can do better. Leave learn to love yourself again.
He won't change. You know that.
You can stay with him now knowing he will continue doing this.
Or you can leave him knowing he will continue doing this.
This choice is completely yours.
Good luck.