Hi mums
I’m currently seperating from my husband of 20 years and it’s fairly amicable, we have 3 kids, one in high school, 2 in primary school.
We are at the stage of deciding whether we sell the family home or I buy him out. I work full time so can manage a mortgage but it will be tight. It’s very costly to sell a home and purchase another one so I’d rather keep that money and put towards the mortgage.
I’m seeing a financial advisor and broker next week but I’m keen to hear from anyone who has been in a similar position and what worked best for you.
2 Replies
Moving is always costly in terms of both time required and dollars. If you like the home, feel comfortable with the debt and your separation is amicable, it is certainly the easiest option. When my ex and I split, the money was the easiest thing. We just split everything down the middle. I kept the family home and a small investment property. He kept the larger investment property (worth about the other two together). We split the furniture and 'stuff' on a spreadsheet with agreed value; and did similar with the cash and super. Took it to a solicitor, got them to put it in a format that the court could sign off for the financial settlement. Saved us both a stack of stamp duty and tax. The only thing that we had a 'small' debate about later was when he went to sell his property he wanted me to cop half the capital gains. He had to understand that he paid his and I paid mine. Got him to understand when I explained that if I held my property for 20 years and then came knocking, how would he react?... Haven't spoken in over 10 years (kids are adults now). Can't imagine how that'd go if I tried it now LOL... You probably realise the financial settlement has nothing to do with care arrangements...
My ex and I sold the family home, paid all debts, and split the profit 50/50. Then we made our fresh starts. My kids (teenagers) adapted fine. Kids do.
It would’ve been nice to keep the family home but my costs would’ve been higher, and I didn’t want him to pick up the kids and make himself at home so to speak in my home that was no longer his, because it’s so familiar to him.
I also needed a fresh start to my ‘new’ life in a house that wasn’t full of memories of him.