Sisterhood, how can we stop my partners ex wife from manipulating and brainwashing their 4 beautiful kids? For two years my partner has not spent time with his children. The mother - his ex wife - has from day 1 of their separation denied all access to the children. Unnecessary ADVO was applied to Dad to make it easier for mother to keep kids from him. Mediation has been attempted and repeatedly denied. Her solicitor wrote saying “mother has requested drug and alcohol tests be done and return a negative result before supervised visits will be considered” which were all completed (at his cost) and all came back negative. Won’t settle property, but not process the divorce. Reports from outsiders are coming back to us explaining how the kids are reacting to her behaviour and it has gotten to the point now that we are being told that the oldest child has taken to drugs and was admitted to ICU for an overdose and all access denied by Dad to find out his child’s condition and visitation at the hospital blocked. Teenager is blaming father, through a message on social media and then blocked Dad, but we can all see that she is a manipulative narcissist and the kids are terrified to defy her incase they make her angry. The kids are scared of her. Police will not listen. Child support is another thing - 100% care so he has to pay it all - spent on new car, plastic surgery, hair, nails, tattoos, piercings, Botox, fillers - yet kids are getting around in hand me downs and always looking like nobody owns them. These kids need their Dad! What can we do to help them?
6 Replies
Hmmm I’m not sure. The biggest narcissist still has a really hard time getting rid of a partner. What has he done in that time to try to access his kids and set up custody or even contacts?
How much of the story do you really know first hand or are you believing a story? Just be ware. So many times women in your position invest years fighting his cause to end up in exactly the same place as the first ex.
Has he applied for Family Court Orders? FCOs trump AVOs in terms of access.
Also, he can process the divorce without her. He can literally lodge it online.
Remember, you're only hearing one side of the story here. Yes, parental alienation is real; but if the teenager is sending him accusatory messages, then maybe listen to them.
Wow, what kind of child support does he pay for her to buy a new car, plastic surgery and everything else. It’s so cliche, I have a feeling you’re being fed a heap of bs, open your eyes mate. You had me until unnecessary ADVO, because courts, police given them out like participation certificates 😞
Maybe the father is a hedge fund manager or something? Although the $17 a week I got was really letting me live the highlife
So, heres the thing, unless there are federal court orders stating the mother has sole parental responsibility and the father have no access, the father can still contact and see the kids... also dad can put in an application with the federal circuit court to apply for visitation. Once federal court orders are in place, they over ride the ADVO.
What has dad done so far?
Has he seen his own solicitor?
How was a an ADVO finalised without evidence of abuse. Police can make the applications, but a judge won't finalise it if there is no clear evidence of abuse. The father also could of contested it if there was no abuse...
That's not entirely true, my partners ex took out an IVO, no evidence whatsoever of abuse there was just her word, and interim IVO was granted in his absence as he wasn't served until after court, due to covid there was repeated adjournments and the final hearing was after 2 years. In this time he was arrested for a breach which also had no evidence from her side but we had a mountain of evidence that he was almost out of the state at the time and she recently admitted on a phone call that he wasn't where she said he was but because she's the "victim" there's nothing we can do. And IVO isn't criminal so you can have one approved without evidence, the breaches are where you need proof but even then he was arrested before she'd provided CCTV footage she didn't have.
She had things in there like "child came home with flared up and eczema and a runny nose" and for that he hasn't seen his daughter for 2.5years and counting. He eventually consented without admission because we were going to family court and the stress of it was too much. He had an extra 18months added to his IVO because of the false breach she reported that he wasnt charged for. The system is not on our side, now that she has labelled him an abuser and her a victim she can do no wrong, police can't charge her with making a false statement, they can't do anything about her calling and trying to milk a breach, they can't do anything about manipulating him and being emotionally abusive.