I need so direction because I feel like I'm slowly loosing my mind!!
My son's behaviour has become near on unbearable! I'm trying, I really am! He's 7, autistic level 2 without an intellectual disability, he's actually pretty smart but he also has ADHD combination type and Oppositional Defiance Disorder. At home I dont usually have a problem, maybe once a fortnight he gets really bad and I do get pretty extreme behaviour such as squealing, throwing things, slamming doors, putting holes in the walls with pencils and objects around the house, he damages ALOT of my things, ive lost 2 laptops, 3 TV's, he's throw my phones and alot of furniture which is in the bin now. At school he is the same, constantly damaging things hes even broken a class room window by throwing a chair through it! The worst thing is im consistently have to leave work to go and pick him up, I've lost 3 jobs due to the amount I had to leave work since he started school! Even tonight at work as usually I was extremely busy and I got a 4 missed phone calls from the school AGAIN! He's refusing to go to after school care! The principal was demanding I pick him up again and I couldn't leave, I have no one to do my job for me, I had to stay and finish or things won't get done and I won't get paid.
When I asked why this behaviour happened she said it was because she had to take the ipad off him to go to after school care and he didn't want to give it up. I have told the school MULTIPLE times that my son is not allowed an ipad at all! Ipads, computer, laptops they're all the same, my son enters into a huge bubble, he segregates himself, he won't eat, talk to anyone or even move from a spot, he becomes so addicted and when it's time to get off that's when the extreme behaviour comes out and he gets way out of control, so I have completely removed these things from his life and I havent seen any bad behaviour since. I've told the school it's detrimental to his mental health to have these types of technology but they continue to give it to him, they continue to get extreme behaviours and I continuously have to leave work.
The other thing with school is my son has changed from short acting Ritalin to long acting ritalin (Concreta) the paediatrician did this because my son had grown 5cm in 6 months but lost a lot of weight due to having a suppressed appetite, the paediatrician isnt comfortable putting him back on Ritalin because he just looses so much weight and refuses to eat so neither am I, but the school are pushing me to it give it to him because he is easier to control on the short acting Ritalin, I said no but they push every phone call, every email it's the same thing!
I have had so many meeting with the school, told them how to handle the behaviour, ive had multiple diagnosis letters explaining what to do and how to do it and they still do not listen, ive even been to the education department and made a complaint, but unfortunately e dosent qualify for a specialist school and this school is the only one in my zone. He's such a lovely beautiful boy but they're making it so much worse for him and im struggling as well.
Im a single mum, I try to do what's best for my son, I get no support from anyone, I work just to I live week to week, I do take my son to therapy but it dosent seem to be working and I'm at my wits end! I've asked my parents for help but my mum just criticises me and says "if you can't handle him, give him to his dad for a while that will sort him out" his dad is a drunk and a violent one at that! So I don't even know why she would even say this which is another story in itself. But I am honestly at the point where I don't know what else to do! The school isn't listening to me at all!
I dont know what to do!!
2 Replies
It actually sounds like you can handle him, you are all across what works and what he needs , you’re on it with his meds and his paed.
I’m so hesitant to say this because I work in a school, but it sounds like they can’t handle him? Why are they calling you to come for behaviour? Why does he have an iPad? Do they use it to get him to be quiet? Then they should have for today just given it to asc and left him there with it. You could even leave something at asc so they can entice him over, whether it’s a screen or an activity he enjoys, a garden or a toy from home (again that’s their job to set up but it’s not happening so help yourself).
They need to stop giving him the iPad at school. Sure thats going to be hard now and they might not want to.
Sometimes a change of school is what’s needed. They all operate really differently, and you might just find a different one handles him differently and it sounds like if school goes better you’d be going pretty well overall.
You’re doing a great job! Does he have funding for support at school? He could potentially qualify under his diagnosis or severe behaviour? That might assist the school to better support him.
Good luck and I hope your little boy gets the love and support he needs from school.