I don’t know weather I am suicidal or have munchausens.
The past few months I have been suffering with these awful urges to seriously harm myself, it’s almost like I fantasise about it.
Every time I get into my car I imagine driving off a road edge or smashing into a power pole.
The other day I found myself subconsciously accelerating to very high speed without actually realising I was doing it, and then today I took a big chopping knife to cut some food but suddenly had this almighty urge to plunge it into my stomach.
The thing is, is I actually don’t think I want to die. But I do imagine the people in my life who I feel are drifting from me suddenly wanting to care about me again.
I googled and it came up with munchausens syndrome and I’m terrified because it does sound like me!!
I do suffer with anxiety and depression but have been medicated for the last 18 months and I don’t feel like I am any worse than I was before.
What can I do? I’m so scared!
8 Replies
Please go and speak to your dr, it could also be the medication you are on. You may need to change it. Ring behind blue also and explain this to them. If you get bad ring 000 but you need to see a Dr asap and maybe change medications, some can cause these side affects.
I honest to god don’t think you have Münchhausens, based on your post.
Wondering how people would feel if you were ill or died means more that you need some attention, support and love in your life ❤️
I had a high school friend who I honestly believed had this, she never got a cold, she had pleurisy, she told my mum she had a heart condition but not to tell me, she always had an ailment for sympathy and attention. She was quite a medical expert.
I suffer anxiety, depression and we tend to have these kinds of thoughts, it goes with the territory.
As the above said, it could even be an adverse reaction to your meds.
I honestly think if you had Münchhausen, you would have a history and practically a medical degree and driven people crazy for years with it. Please see your GP and go from there, no more dr google, I know, I’m the same.
Sounds like you're experiencing what are called intrusive thoughts, they actually can be a very common symptom of anxiety and depression.
I don't quite think Munchausens fits in all honesty as I actually knew someone who had it. Typically a person with Munchausens will lie about having health conditions (usually serious and extensive health conditions), they tend to fake their symptoms, they doctor shop and in the extreme cases they can even deliberately make themselves sick but what they generally don't have is your level of self awareness.
I know this is scary but you should speak to your doctor/psychologist about this asap because they can help you. In the meantime, if you feel like you're starting to lose control of these scary thoughts you call yourself an ambulance and tell them you think you might hurt yourself.
You take care Love ❤
These sound like very intense intrusive thoughts. The most amazing part is you have 1. Identified them and 2. Reached out for help/advice.
So now you need to aim for step 3 beautiful lady and book an appointment with your GP and be very honest with them about these thoughts. It would also be beneficial to get a referral for a psychologist too to touch base with regularly.
I really hope you seek medical support. Please don’t ever use Google for anything medical. You may need different meds and you don’t mention any type of therapy so I’m wondering if you need to start talking to a therapist. I’m happy to see lots of supportive comments here on your post ♥️ Please speak to a Dr and trust them to help you through.
I really really need help asap! Today on my lunch break I left my work place and drove around for 20 minutes trying to find somewhere suitable to crash my car, I wanted to avoid places where I might hit pedestrians, I also wanted to avoid hitting another vehicle, I wanted it to be somewhere I could just drive into like a wall or power pole. But the whole time I was looking I knew it had to be on a stretch of road that was 100km, as I didn’t want to speed!!! I knew that I didn’t want to break the law, and I was thinking of ways I could make it look accidental and not done on purpose! Surely people who seriously want to harm themselves don’t think this logically?? That’s what makes me think it is munchausens?? I can’t see my gp as he’s booked solid for weeks and weeks, and I live in a small town and live next door to 2 of our 4 local ambos! So I don’t want to call them asking for mental help. These thourghts are literally taking over my head.
Maybe its Munchausens, maybe it's something else. Who knows!
But sweetheart, what ever the diagnosis may or may not be isn't what important right now at this very point in time. Your immediate safety is!
I implore you to call an ambulance, they are not there to judge and they are bound by privacy/confidentiality laws so they can't go around telling everyone why they picked you up if that's what's stopping you.
This is just as much of an emergency as if you were having a heart attack.
At the very least, do you have someone who could stay with you for the night and perhaps take you to hospital in the morning?
Have you rang your clinic and spoken to a receptionist? Often a GP will see you if you express the urgency.
Otherwise you need to take yourself straight to your hospital (and I do understand small towns, I live in one populated by 1500 people)...
Go in and say you are having these thoughts that you are scared you're going to hurt someone else or yourself. They will help you.
Regardless of the diagnosis, you do need to get the ball rolling now, to get help and only you can do that. Xx