Swearing

Anon Imperfect Mum

Swearing

I am definitely not a prude but I grew up in a non swearing house, the worst we heard growing up was bloody and the occasional shit. That soon changed when I left home and I was in an abusive relationship when I was younger and I was sworn at daily. It just became such a normal thing and it battered me from the inside the disgusting things he used to say. The names. But then I left I've slowly started to build confidence and have a bit of value on myself. I don't mind people swearing in general conversation, I do it too, but if I'm sworn AT that's when I get a bit offended and pull the person up. I've done it to customers, my partner, my kids, my friends. Example, saying "I went to the shop and there was a fucking dog with a Mohawk" is fine but saying "Where the fuck is the milk" to me is not on. It's just kind of triggering now. Do you think I need to loosen up a bit or am I right?

5 Replies

Anon Imperfect Mum

My husband and I use the C word a lot but as a term of endearment to each other, or about things . You know, in a true Aussie bogan way. We're hilarious and we know it. Our friends and other family members are the same. My husbands mum and dad are disgusted by it though but i don't give a flog what they think, they don't have to like our humour . It's different for everyone though how they feel about swearing. If it's done hatefully its a bit different. We do say 'where the fuck is the milk'. It's aimed at the milk, not a personal attack, so I don't see the offense in it.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

Nope. I’m the same and 1. A trigger is a trigger. And 2. That’s respect. You can swear in a sentence but you do NOT swear at someone else, it’s abuse.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

To me it's about intent and the type of relationship you have with someone. The swear words themselves don't bother me, it's the context and situation in which they're used.

Eg - My hubby and I often call each other dickheads in a joking way. Tonight I got myself an icecrram and sat down, he looked at me with fake outrage and jokingly said "Oi, where the fuck is my icecream Mate?", I replied also jokingly "Up your arse" then we both laughed.
We know each other well enough to know where that line is.

Same deal with my brother, we say absolutely savage things to each other but it's all in jest. I actually joked to my SIL that's she'd know if we were ever fighting because we'd be being polite to one another 😂

Where as I once had to catch a taxi into town (car troubles), the driver was a nice, friendly guy but he littered our conversation with profanity. It was seriously eff this, eff that, effing hell etc.
Even though he didn't swear AT me, it still felt disrespectful because he didn't know me well enough to know how I felt about swearing (not to mention it was unprofessional, I never swear at work even though I feel like it sometimes lol).

I was also once called a dick by a real estate agent. I muddled something really silly up, said to her "I'm so not with it today, I've messed such and such up, can you fix that" and she said very much in a playful way "Oh you dick hahaha". Really rubbed me the wrong way, again, because we didn't have that type of relationship.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

What the fuck, cunt? 🙏🥰💜

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Anon Imperfect Mum

I don’t get the people laughing at this! I swear, I have no issue with swearing but I, like you, don’t like being sworn at because I have PTSD from an abusive relationship. I agree, it’s triggering. It’s ok to tell people that. Period. Your feelings are valid and you don’t need to explain yourself.

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