My partner has photos of his exes on his phone. From what I have seen they are not rude. For me I believe it's hard to move forward when you are still anchored backwards. I'm annoyed that I have to ask him to delete them as I feel he should do that out of respect for me. Perhaps I feel strongly about it because I choose not to have any photos of my exes on my phone. Thoughts?
12 Replies
Because of this mindset, I don't have a single photograph that has both of my parents in it. Just food for thought...
Some people just appreciate the memories, it doesn't mean they're stuck in the past.
Some people (like me 🤣) are just really bad at clearing out old, unneeded photos. I still have a screenshot from some website that's 6 years old lol.
I think keep an open mind on this one. You can't erase someone's memories. Some people like to keep photos of their memories. It doesn't mean you're less special to your partner or he still thinks of his old girlfriends.
Have you never gone through your parents photos and found one of your mum and her first boyfriend? Its funny and cute.
To me, photos are incredibly important for a number of reasons. If you told me to delete my past and memories for your insecurities, we would be no more
It’s not a photo that anchors someone.
His past isn’t disrespectful to you.
That’s a YOU problem. You need to work on why you feel threatened by pics on a phone.
Eww no I wouldn't unless they died. If he already has them on fb or saved to a cloud for history's sake then there's really no need to have them on your phone! I wouldn't have photos of my ex on my phone, I do still have photos of him but there's no need to carry that wanker everywhere I go it would annoy me more than anyone else.
I feel this isn't a black and white topic. More context is needed. For example, how long have you two been dating? If it's been like a week then you are probably expecting too much, if it's been years then yeah he might need to move the photos off his phone and just save them to a cloud or something, just so you don't need to look at them. As long as he's not obsessing over the pics or regularly looking at then (or they are nudes) then trybto reconcile with yourself that he's with YOU now but if you are struggling then have a casual chat about it with him
I remember one of my Mums boyfriends had a photo of his ex in the living room. It was incredibly weird. Each to their own but I just don't think it's OK, why would you have them in your phone? If they are your child's parent print them out for your child then delete. Really no need to have photos of exes on your phone.
I think it's really controlling to want these deleted! I'd query a lovey Dovey photo saved as the phone lock screen or background, but that's it. You either believe he's into you and trustworthy or break it off. Not deleting photos is irrelevant. Remaining friends is irrelevant unless they're still pining for that person. You don't get to erase someone's past or control who they like or don't like.
I don’t see this as a problem. I don’t expect people to erase there past. As long as they aren’t sexy/nudes I don’t see the issue. I don’t go through and meticulously make sure my pics are on the cloud or somewhere else, so I wouldn’t expect someone else to.
My husband has family photos of his ex with their child.
How is it my right to ask him to delete or throw them out?
She is his past but he will always love her as the mother of his first child and I would never want to erase those memories of her for him.
I know he loves me and should anything happen with us, I hope he keeps some of our family photos as I definitely will
We use to be able to keep physical photos in a random box of junk and only look when moving or looking for other things and remember the past . Now it's all on your phone and easily accessible. My husband and I Have been together almost 20 years, still have a box of photos with his ex in it from a holiday they ha f and other random pics of them.
Out of sight out if mind. Is he looking at them often?
I dont like deleting photos, they are either memories or lessons learnt along the way, my past isn't anchoring me, its apart of who I am, my past has made me who I am.
My husband isn't bothered at all.
Your relationship needs to be on you and your partners terms, if they are keeping you awake and night, then its an issue. Maybe you could come to some agreement, that he stores them away somewhere not easily accessible (usb or something)