I don't know what I want out of this post but I'm just feeling so damn worthless. I'm 32, basically unemployed and suffer severe anxiety and depression.
I have a casual job but rarely get shifts, lately one 4 hr shift a month, I am in retail and enjoy it but want to move to a job closer to me as 2 hour travel on public transport is mentally exhausting for me. Everything I apply for I'm getting rejected. Today I got rejected for a job that would have been perfect as its near home and what I want to do, a job a 14yr old could get. But nope didn't get it. Sometimes I think it's because yeens are cheaper labour than a 32 yr old casual and that's what is stopping the progression but it just makes me feel pathetic that I can't even get a base job to support my family.
My partner likes to point out when he's drinking that "you need to be working and not home doing nothing" " your 32 and never had a full time job", I mean I've also spent the last 16 years raising a child alone with absolutely no support. So yeah I haven't had a full time job but thanks for your words of encouragement.
My anxiety stops me doing a lot to try and change stores for where I am now and I've kind of got into a slump of thinking what's the point? I finally saught help from a gp and got a counselling referral and the evening before it got canceled as she was sick and i was supposed to hear back to reschedule like 4 days ago and still nothing so ill call tomorrow. But i waited so long for that appointment and that being canceled killed me. An 8 hour day for $120 once a month is bullshit. I'm level 1 on retail so basic checkout stuff nothing bigger as I never seem to be needed long enough at a place to progress.
I've done a retail cert 3 to help in my applications, I put my everything into an interview, I'm flexible with availability. I just don't know why I'm not getting anything.
I can't do cold calling or sales as my anxiety and personality just don't cater to be pushy and sell so registers and floor work for me over say call centres. I can't do data entry as I have arthritis in my hands that cause excruciating pain of typing too long. Even typing this out is hurting.
I guess after thinking I'd got this job and being rejected today I just feel deflated and worthless and needed a vent.
This is a place where women from different backgrounds, cultures and beliefs come together to support one another judgement free.
12 Replies
What about joining a job club for the long term unemployed? They have good support services to help you practice interviews, update resumes, get appropriate clothing for interviews, cover public transport costs for interviews, etc. They also have databases with potential employers... Sometimes when you are stressed that shows through in interviews - building your confidence will help immensely. You can do this!
I have one, tried multiple. They say they help with a lot but what they don't say is generally you have to have that cost upfront and they rebate you if you can't use a store they suggest. But I have those things and my travel costs are never rebated because apparently I don't travel enough for it to be rebated, there is a threshold.
I've done soany practise interviews, classes they hold, career days etc.
You need to change your mind set.
Speak to your manager - ask the tough questions? What can you improve in order to move forward and get more shifts and more responsibilities at work?
No offence but it is possible to raise children alone and work. You need to go through your thought system and analyse your attitude a little.
Also yes you waited for an appointment- the person was sick. That’s not something to whinge about? People are going down with nasty colds atm she/he may not be well enough to return to work yet and so you haven’t been called.
Having not worked significantly ever - expect to start on a low income. Set realistic goals and work your way up.
The problem is not my mindset. I go through positive, I expect low pay that's not an issue. I just know that it's easy $10-20 cheaper to hire a 14yr old on a casual wage than an adult. I have spoken to my manager and asked for shifts, like I said I give total availability to them, I stay back late when asked, I go that extra mile always. That's why it's so disheartening. I'm putting the effort in and getting nothing back for my work. I had a job when my daughter was little but by the time I paid for daycare I was making $10 a week. It's made no sense for my entire wage to go on daycare, I wasn't eligible for any rebates. It made more sense to stay home.
I never said I expected to be at a top spot immediately I just want my foot in the door and actual shifts. I don't think that's unrealistic?
Edit to add: I was not whinging that she got sick it was just the fact that I had waited so damn long for this, after finally getting the courage to do it in the first place, and it got cancelled the day before. For someone who relys on routine to help with anxiety this will now be god knows how long before I get the courage to call again and try to reschedule because they have not called back to do so as they told me they would. Following up for me isn't that easy. I know I should, I give myself time to but come to the punch I physically cannot, hence the need for counselling.
Different commenter, see that’s where people are wrong, they say it isn’t worth working,
but unless you are losing, it is always worth it.
You will be getting super for retirement and the all important experience, helping you to move up and increase your pay.
Also, minimizing the gap in your resume.
I’ve been in the position working earning just above what I could get at Centrelink as a single mum, however, I am now seeing the fruits of that labour, 8 years later.
You absolutely need an attitude adjustment.
Your post is full of excuses.
Tbh - if you were going the extra mile often it would lead to more shifts. Maybe you are not achieving their expectations and hence not getting many shifts.
Prioritise your health. Make the phone call.
You are whinging. It took that long for you to get in as there is a shortage of professionals and higher than usual demand again that is not the therapists fault. Just like her getting sick was not anyones fault.
And as prev comment or said. Working to keep a foot in has worth in itself. You reap what you sew. I would have loved to stay home more with my kids but the reality is life is expensive and therefore work is a necessity.
Everyone gets at least 50% rebate unless your saying you earn over 200k a year or your not working/studying - so daycare expense is really only another excuse.
Depression and Anxiety are awful. Anyone who tells you to 'just get over it' or similar obviously does not have a clue. Please keep trying to get into that counsellor. I can tell you are feeling defeated right now but things can get better ((hugs))
Are you telling them you have arthritis at interviews? This could be working against you. They will see it as time off, possible injuries. Don't say anything about it.
Nope, no one knows, it's just something I mentioned knowing people will suggest those kinds of typing jobs, so filtering comments I guess.
Hi, I'm a business owner (retail) and would 100% hire an adult over a teenager in a heartbeat. I have a 60yr old lady who is my best worker, so don't get down about your age, it can absolutely be a drawcard for the right employer.
Are you getting through to the interview stage or just knock backs on your resume? If you are struggling to land interviews then get a professional to rewrite your resume. In interviews the thing we look for the most is a friendly attitude and someone who will connect with our customers, so walk in with a big smile on your face, extend your arm for a handshake and be aware of your body language to not appear closed. Appear confident but relaxed and make sure your personal appearance is impeccable (hair clean and pulled back, neat clothes clean nails) Yes you will probably have to fake it til you make it in the confidence but I bet if you got a job you somewhat enjoyed and felt part of a team your mental health would start to improve too.
Keep applying, apply for everything even if it seems out of your league - don't reject yourself! In the meantime do any skills course you can, first aid, Barista course etc, anything to put on your resume. Some tafes run free short courses so look into that.
Also look outside retail and start acquiring skills for other jobs. Homecare and aged care are always crying out for workers and is usually on the job training. The truth is that you are more likely to get a job if you are already employed so take whatever you can, even if it's short term while you work your way to getting the job you really want.
Don't sell yourself short, what did you want to be when you were a kid? It's not too late to chase dreams and have a career - if that's what you want.
Ring the counsellor, yes it's hard but you will thank yourself for it later. Start working on the mental health part, but it's time to ramp up your job search..you can do it!!!
The longer you are out of the workforce, the harder it is to get back in. Have you tried Maccas? Many older people turn their nose up at that kind of work but it's not that bad and they are screaming for workers Australia wide. I read they are aiming to hire 3000 people in one day in Victoria. Don't even have to put an application in you just turn up for an interview. There's room to move up the ladder, they have certified courses that you can do on the job if you want to go into management eventually. They like to use Mums for school hours so that might suit you. Give it a try, even if you're not in Victoria every state is looking for staff.
Don't give up, it's so hard out there at the moment with lots of unemployed. Our unemployment numbers may look better but thats because they fudge the figures. I would love to know how many are actually like you and only getting one shift. I know your anxiety would feel overwhelming. Often when we confront a little bit of that fear, it reduces. I searched for places I would like to work even if they weren't advertising and I rang them and emailed through my resume. Yes it's scary but ask yourself what have you got to lose??? I know that fear of rejection is there but remind yourself that it's not you they are rejecting, it's just hard to find work. I have gained majority of my positions either this way or through volunteering. I cannot remember the last time I actually applied for a job. The more you confront that fear it will reduce, the less isolated you are, the less depressed you will feel. Also you have been working full time for many years raising a child, do not discredit how important that time was <3