Sex Life

My partner and I have been together 8 years. We’ve got 3 kids.
Our sex life is next to none, maybe 2-3 a month.
His sex drive has completely changed, use to be hounding me daily for it, unless I start it it will rarely happen, once it does happen it’s fantastic, although we could get a little more adventurous, we are time poor half the time.
I told him tonight that we need to work on this because him saying I’m tired or I get him at the wrong time is just upsetting me and making me feel unwanted which I have told him.
He loves me dearly I don’t doubt that.
He told me that after gym he feels extra horny so he pulled himself off the other day that upset me as I’m trying to get him to want me.
Maybe I just want someone to throw me against the wall and fuck the shit out of me? Is that too much to ask?
I’m a middle age mum with 3 kids feel like I’m having a mid life crisis
Please help!!