First of all, I have spoken to my partner but he just doesn't seem to get it...
Where ever I am or what ever I am doing is an open invitation for him to make sexual comments to me ... eg "you make my mouth water" ... "mmmm so sexy" ... it goes on and on and on and on. Every minute of every day. I can't get a break.
I'm always on edge. I just want to relax in my own home in my own skin without being sexualised. Washing the dishes ... brushing my teeth ... Can't I just put some jeans on without having comments made? What do I do? It's exhausting. I'm so over it.
I like a good time as much as the next person. But this relentless focus on sex is too much. I'm so so over it 😭😭😭
In the end... I can never 'put out' as much as he will ever want. Also... he is confusing sexualising with intimacy. Not the same.
12 Replies
Oof! Yeah I get it. I mean a bit of sexy talk is great, but it also needs to be combined with other things like telling you you're beautiful as opposed to just sexy, touching you non sexually sometimes and not expecting anything back (eg a backrub or hand holding) and even doing things for you like doing the dishes will likely increase his chances of sexy time!
When you say you have talked to him have you really laid out what want? Just from this small bit of info he sounds like hes highly sexual (likely his love language) and thinks he is showing you his love. You gotta really break it down for him and let him know how uncomfortable it makes you
Do the same back to him. See how he takes it and if he changes the way he sees you
lol by the sounds of it , he would prob love it and keep going.
I did this to my ex who was just like this and he loved it, it made it so much worse 😥
Are you with my ex husband?
Seriously, this sounds like my ex. He believed me getting changed infront of him was teasing…however, if i got changed in the bathroom then i was being rude 🤷🏼♀️
Doing dishes? Open invitation to make comments and rub himself against me while bending over to add items to dishwasher.
I became so fearful of doing ANYTHING infront of him.
When our son was born, his FIRST COMMENT was
“Awesome, now you’ll get your tits out more”
Due to this comment, i did not breast feed our son our of fear of sexual harrassment
The final straw was when i was feeding our son, he demanded a blow job. I declined, i was holding our baby, that is messed up. He proceeded to slap my face with his hard penis.
Just leave this man, he is gross and will never change. He sees you as an object, not a human.
Sending love and know, you are bot alone, others have been there, you can get out. Get some counseling and heals 💜
Bloody hell!! Were you both with my ex haha some men are just so gross
I'm am so so sorry that this happened to you. This is disgusting beyond words.
My husband and I muck around a lot but it is ALWAYS consensual!!! Your experience made my skin crawl. It is reprehensible and vile
This is sexual harassment. Period.
Not only that but it's really degrading to be minimised to a sex object by a partner - you're meant to be equals but he sees you as an empty vessel he can stick his dick in.
If I had to speak to my partner about this more than once, we'd be done.
My ex was like this too and it actually turned me into such a prude because I was trying to protect myself from his behaviour. Wouldn't wear anything that showed off my body, wouldn't get naked in front of him, would lock myself in the bathroom to shower, didn't like having my back turned to him. With a new man now and its taken a while but I'm now comfortable to be naked, trust him behind me, I don't care if he sees me in the shower, I wear what I want. He does compliment me but it's different.
A lot of men are like this, it's like it's built- in animilistic behaviour. Such a shame.
Lay down some very simple boundries, for example for every comment about the way I look I expect you to come up with a compliment about me that's got nothing to do with my appearance.
Tell him to stop or get out. You have set a boundary and either it's respected or he goes. He is deliberately breaking this boundary. He is a grown man, he gets it, he is just pretending he doesn't because he doesn't want to stop. He is not a child, he knows that when someone says to stop he should stop.
Next time he does it tell him to stop it and not do it again. Tell him enough is enough and if he continues to refuse to respect you that that will be it.