I posted recently and some people pointed out that I was a scapegoat in my family and not a black sheep as I thought. I didn’t realise this and it helped me understand why I have been treated the way I have by myself family. I googled it and it really hit home with me and made me realise, that what commenters on here, had said was correct
What I am wanting to know from others in the same situation, do other people around tend to treat you the same because they see family do this and so then think it’s ok for them to be the same
I have people around me, close to my family who treat me in a Similar way of putting me down. Is this because they see and hear my family whinge and think that they have the right to also? I can’t take it anymore mentally and i keep a distance from most people now and have nothing more to do with my family. Mentally I can no longer cope. All these years, I thought it was me. It’s painful and hard to get pay. All the years it has affected me, I now need to heal from
Thx to those, who were kind to me and helped me understand it
3 Replies
Yes, I think it does kind of set the bar for how others treat you. Nearly everyone that I knew through my ex in laws family treated me strangely, like they already didn't like me and saying things that were just odd, could never put my finger on it. Everyone else I knew and met outside of that family it was normal, friendly. You can tell when there's been negativity and bitching within a social circle. I think you need a fresh start, consider moving or at least minimise contact as much as possible and work on finding some new friends.
Thank you, I thought I couldn’t have been imagining it 😔 I have moved away and slowly cutting contact one by one. It’s hard to do but each time I do, I am feeling better about myself and my confidence.
I remember this post because I could relate to it. I have a self-sacrificing schema which a Psychologist helped me identify. Increased self-awareness has really helped me to recognise when people are crossing a boundary. I generally feel off, uncomfortable and sometimes delay responding while I struggle with saying no. It takes practice but you get better at it ;)