What is life like growing up without a father? I Would love some responses from people who have been through it.
My baby's father has walked out before her birth and wants nothing to do with us.
I come from a family where my parents had a great marriage and im feeling a lot of guilt and depression about the fact my daughter won't have a father in her life.
5 Replies
Don't feel guilty.
I did have a father growing up but by 16 I realised he didn't care about me, this caused a lot of issues for me until I finally cut him out of my life in my late 20's.
My kids Dad started a new family and now has very little to do with them. This made them feel rejected and teen years were crazy and although I can't blame it all on their Dad, the rejection has definitely caused our kids trauma and that has caused a lot of the issues that they have had to deal with including severe anxiety and suicide attempt, severe depression. They are awesome young men now and I couldn't be prouder, to see what they have been through to what they're achieving now is amazing.
My nephew has never had his Dad or male role model in his life and he is a very well rounded kid, he has no trauma at all because he has never felt rejection. You can't lose what you never had.
Raise your beautiful daughter to be a beautiful human being, never make her feel as though she is missing something and never feel guilty for anything you haven't done. That guilt belongs to that sorry excuse for a man that walked out the door.
I can’t speak for them, but I have two kids. The first one is the product of a shitty relationship and a shitty parent. Diagnosed anxiety disorder, likes to be at home, dislikes loud noise or large groups. Daily feels sick with tummy ache and tired arms and legs.
The younger one never knew that household and has grown up in a calm, loving stable single parent household and is well adjusted, active, loving and very loved and knows it and is secure in that.
I also think that being single gives you the opportunity (no matter how far in the future) to model a loving relationship to them. It doesn’t have to be their father. In fact, if he is not modeling that then it CANT be done with him. But you can model what to do when faced with that.
I grew up without a father. I’m almost 40 now and can count on 1 hand the amount of times I met my dad. I had a poor excuse for a step father but certainly not a father figure as he was abusive and horrible.
I’m okay I think 😂 at about 13-18 I did question my identity as in ‘who is the other part of me’ and reached out to my father and got a crap reply and all he wanted to do was bad mouth my mother.
I don’t believe I have struggled greatly due to not having a father in my life. I am happy that, if he couldn’t be a good dad he left me alone as a child and allowed my mum to raise me her way.
I do think some of my poor relationship choices may be a result of poor role modelling due to mum’s poor choice of man after my dad, but also a little trying to find someone that would love and nurture me like I never got.
But over all I’m very happy with my life and where it is at. And if my father passed away I don’t think I’d feel very sad about it either.
While your daughter doesn’t have a biological father in her life, time May give her an amazing step father or otherwise strong male role model that she can depend on.
My mother married the man I call dad when I was 7. He was an amazing man - I lost him this year and it's been an extremely hard time.
I honestly have no want/need to meet my biological father - even in those years before my mum met my dad.
My mum was very honest with me as to why he wasn't in my life and the choice he made, but also that it had nothing to do with me.
Honestly, dont feel hard on yourself about it and no guilt about it. Just make the best life for the 2 of you and go for gold.
My own father was my sons first & major father figure.
Still to this day 13yrs later, he goes to my dad for things not his father or step father.