Everytime we have a disagreement no matter how minor (or large) my partner says he’s leaving. This has made me so insecure in our relationship and is making me question my feelings for him and his for me. I’ve felt my confidence has slowly been disappearing because he is always making me feel guilty about things from buying things for my kids and not his to not washing one of his shirts for too many days after he wore it. I’m now sitting in the car with him crying driving home after he told me I make him feel like a Dickhead for paying for my own kids when at the shopping centre for lunch and not letting him pay. I’ve always done things for myself and paid my own way so didn’t see it as an issue.
Am I over reacting? Do I have it out with him and when he says he’s leaving let him. Or?
Partner says he’s leaving
Partner says he’s leaving
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
14 Replies
What the hell. He has issues. He is slowly knocking you down bit by bit. If he says he’s leaving. Tell him to get out now and don’t come back. Stand up to him. Don’t let him keep pulling this crap on you. You deserve better. Stand strong, stand proud and tall and do not be afraid to use your voice. Show him you mean business and won’t put up with this childish crap.
Let him go. He is bluffing you and knocking your confidence. This isn’t about you and everything about him and his manipulation. Let him walk out and change the locks behind him.
He is only making an issue because it knocks self doubt into you every single time until you no longer have any confidence left. No more..
"Oh, you're leaving? Be sure to close the door behind you then".
What a cheek! Acting like his leaving is some kind of threat to be feared and not the massive blessing it would actually be.
Personally, I wouldn't be waiting for him to tell you he's leaving again - I'd be telling him to pack his shit right now and get going.
These are all hallmark signs of an abusive man, he's trying to control you with guilt and manipulation.
Let him go.
That isn’t anyway to live.
Tell him the next time he says to mean it!
Thank god for that let him go. Sounds like an immature dick
Let him leave. He sounds like he's got some serious unresolved issues around his self-esteem and arguments/conflict, meaning he's using some extremely toxic behaviours to manage and control the situation.
None of this is your fault, nor is it your responsibility to fix. He can choose the way he responds in these circumstances and he's choosing to behave terribly. He may need help to address his issues, but that again is on him. Your responsibility is to your own mental health, and the safety of yourself and your children
His insecurities are affecting your mental health. Let him go. He sounds like a headache. Not worth it for you or your kids.
He's manipulating you, making you fear him walking out to win an argument. He wants you to back down so he can "win" and it's a form of emotional DV.
Next time, hand him a bag of his clothes, hell, have one packed in the hall cupboard ready to go, and say "well see ya later" then walk away. Don't let him back in, ever.
Yep, call his bluff but also be prepared if he leaves.
My partner’s previous relationship was a bit on-again-off-again and I found that his default was a bit like this at the start of our relationship. I made it pretty clear that threats like that wouldn’t be tolerated and that he shouldn’t say things like this unless he actually means to leave. I also made it clear that if we were ever to break up, there would never be a second chance for us.
I know this sounds a bit harsh but it worked for us. He doesn’t speak like that anymore and we are both more secure knowing that we are together through thick and thin and that silly fights are not going to end in breakups.
I’ve made sure he knows I’m in this for life and he has also made it clear to me that he is as well.
If your partner wants to play, tell him that you don’t have time for his games and that even though you don’t want him to, he can leave if he wants… reminding him that there’s no coming back if he chooses this path.
Red Flag!!! You are walking on egg shells constantly. He is also using the threat of leaving to control you. He is very controlling love and you deserve way better. Tell him to pull his head in or get out.
Honestly, I'd beat him to it and leave myself. He keeps saying he's leaving but never does... Do it for him.
Don't let someone take your confidence
Depends what else is going on for you in the relationship and whether you want to invest in attempted repair through mutual commitment to counselling. Also depends on how willing he is to see there an issue and do something to address it. Him using stupid empty threats that try to manipulate an outcome by making you insecure is no pathway to your happiness that's for sure. Why is your buying something for your kids a prickled exactly? Good luck in deciding. Don't be afraid of being single if need be. It might be hard in some ways but a relief in others.
OMFG let the baby leave!
He's emotionally abusing you.
The only response you need..
"Bye Felicia".
This isn't about letting him leave, this is about telling him to fuck right off. Look at what's he's doing to you?