I’m 21 I have a 1 year old and work part time. My mother constantly asks to borrow money off me each fortnight. Both my parents are unemployed due to health problems and have 3 other kids at home. I struggle to say no and when I do she continues to ask. I feel like it’s starting to affect our relationship. I feel guilty if I say no but it’s becoming a problem I can’t afford to keep helping her. What do I do.
12 Replies
The night before pay day ask if you can borrow $100 because things are bad and you have heaps of bills and you just haven't got the money for everything. Repeat every fortnight.
It’s the other way round my mum keeps asking to borrow money off me every fortnight but I can’t afford to and she continues to ask after I say no. She still owes me money
I know, I'm saying get in first so she leaves you alone lol.
What kind of health problems? There's heaps of work around at the moment they should find something suitable.
My mum has an abscess on the back of her head that causes her migraines unexpectedly. My dad has bludged disks in his back
They're not your responsibility.
Your responsibility is to your child.
I know you feel guilty, but how much worse would you feel if your child had to go without because your grown parents are being financially irresponsible? Your child comes before anyone else (not including yourself)
Just say no. No is a complete sentence. You don't owe them a reason and they are not entitled to you and what you have. If they keep asking, you keep saying no or ignore them. There is no reason at all for you to feel quilty, THEY should be feeling guilty, not you! Let saying 'no' empower you (practice in the mirror) x
On pay day pay what you need and transfer most of the balance to another account. Leave like 9 bucks in it so they can't even ask for a tenner.
When you say no and they ask again, log in to your regular account and show the balance - "I don't have it, I barely have milk and bread for next week".
Eventually they'll work out it's not working for them, and you'll have what you need to get by.
This is what I'd say.
"Mum, I really can't keep lending you money because it's leaving me short. Bub and I are going without as a result, that's not fair and it's not responsible on my part.
It also hurts me when you keep asking after I've said no, it makes me feel taken advantage of and guilty.
I love you and I wish I could help you but I just can't anymore".
Set your boundaries and be honest about your feelings. Text it if you struggle with face to face confrontation.
Also remember you are responsible for the way your mum reacts.
I think you mean not responsible lol.
Bloody auto correct lol 🙄😅
Yes, that last part is definitely meant to say that you AREN'T responsible for your mum's reaction.