I travelled 5 hours to my girlfriends house on Saturday for her daughters birthday. There were quite afew adults so when the kids were in bed we had afew drinks. My best friends husband was heavily intoxicated. I went to bed at about 1am and they were all still drinking. Myself and my daughter were sleeping in their sons bed. At 3:10 I woke up to a loud sound, I looked up and the husband was standing over me masturbating. I pretended I was asleep and started to snore loudly, this didn't stop him. After a few minutes I started to push on his belly about half a dozen times he didn't react. I then said 'go away', he quickly replied 'oh shit sorry'. He then walked downstairs then back up. I woke up in the morning and got my things organised and left. I said goodbye to my best friend but the husband wasn't awake yet.
Side note- my friend had told me earlier in the day that they haven't been sleeping in the same bed for quite afew nights. I'm assuming that she sleeps in her sons (3 years old) bed with the son instead of the bed that she shares with her husband. I don't know whether to tell her or not 😢 I think he may of been sleep walking.
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Relationships & Marriage
20 Replies
Is he known to sleep walk? I think I would say something.
I'm not sure if he does 🤔 I've stayed there quite afew times and I've never seen him doing it.
I’m so sorry you went through that, it must have been really scary.
I think you should tell your friend, not because he’s a cheater, but because he clearly has a big problem with alcohol
What if you weren’t there and it was just your child?
What if he did it to a stranger when out, thinking he’s somewhere else?
He would charged.
This may be the wake up call he needs.
It's all that I've thought about for the past 24 hours, it's doing my head in.
Yes definitely tell her. She’s trying to work out things, there’s kids involved, this is serious and gross don’t let it slide as it’s not a behaviour a normal person does as a one off , she just needs help to put the pieces together.
Firstly I want to ask if you're okay? That would've been terrifying, especially given your child was sleeping with you.
My husband is a sleepwalker. Almost 17 years of that has made me quite accustomed to some wacky night time behaviour, never masturbation or anything sexual though.
I'm more inclined to believe this wasn't a sleepwalking episode. I feel like he was so drunk that he lost all his inhibitions, him being heavily inebriated would explain the erraticness.
I would tell your friend, whether this was an unconscious act or a predatory one it's still really alarming behaviour and she has the safety of her 3 year old child to think about.
What she does with this information is on her but she needs to know.
I'm very shaken by the whole situation as I was a victim of s*xuall a*use when I was young. It's definitely brought up my past experiences and not in a good way 😢 I asked her what time did they all go to bed and she had said about 3:30. I think I need to work up the courage to tell her, I just couldn't do it yesterday as it was mothers day.
I would end the friendship.
I personally wouldn't care if he was sleep walking or not. He's masturbating in the room his son usually sleeps in, and at the time the room your daughter was sleeping in. There's no excuse for either, I don't care how fucking drunk he was (as someone who gets into some states when I get on it) if this is how he acts on the piss he needs to be locked out of the house for the night if he wants to drink. A sleeping bag and a couch in a shed, a swag under the carport, a blow up mattress in the tray of a ute - the options are many.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I'd be absolutely mortified if my partner behaved like that around any of my friends - no, around ANYBODY.
If she apologises, accept it because she'll be hurting so badly for both of you. I wouldn't accept an apology from him, he can go eat a dick.
Agree
So I managed to get the courage up to ring my best friend, she listened and said he more than likely wasn't sleep walking as he's not known to do it. I could tell she was annoyed but thanked me for telling her. Since then he's tried calling me on fb messenger afew times and some inboxes saying that he didn't realise he was in the wrong room and that he wanted to w*nk before bed but did it standing up because his bed makes to much noise. I haven't read all that he's written to me as I've left it undelivered.
Ewww yukkkk that he’s even doing that. sonsorry he’s now actually showing that he has no concern at all for a non consenting victim of a gross sex. I’d steer very clear and just chat with your friend online for a while without visiting.
Block him.
Firstly well done on being brave and telling your friend. That would of been hard to do. Secondly, that’s a piss poor excuse from him. If this was a genuine mustard most people would be HORRIFIED. He doesn’t seem horrified? Thirdly, I am so sorry you had to go through that. I actually felt a bit sick reading it. Look after yourself xx
Well done to you for you telling your friend. What a weird piss poor excuse from him. He knew you were there with your child. Block him! Tell her you are sorry and don’t want it to affect your friendship but you are really creeped out by it and want nothign to do with him. That poor girl: I’d be horrified if my husband did this.
Leave him on undelivered girl! He’s a creep
Oh you poor woman! How revolting of him. I would be saying to your friend that you value your friendship with her but may need to keep it away from her husband for a while as it has shaken you. I wouldn't be surprised if she ends up leaving him eventually. Keep your friendship if you can. Maybe go out for cuppas
Meet up with her on her own and tell her. I mean if you weren’t in that bed what if her son was and your were with your child. How disgusting! Pretty sure he knew what he was doing. Do not keep this from her. I bet she has seen they before too. How sickening for you.
Im so sorry you went through that, just disgusting behaviour by a grown "man" if he has a drinking issuse he needs to get that sorted. I would never stay there again.
He was NOT sleep walking. What a dirty creep.
Tell your friend.
You pushed on his belly a number of times. He would have felt that. This story doesn't stack up. I'm so sorry your childhood trauma has come up again from his gross and frightening actions. Please get some support for you so you can recover from a sexual assault support service in your state. Also strongly suggest you never ever have a child in his company. This man is not safe.