Our family has gone through a shift. Hubby new job (real estate) and still running his own business barely surving after covid. So his working two jobs and there is no us time or family time. Its shared with with co-workers and clients as his on demand. I have never cried so much in my life and feel so alone. It wont be forever (until he closes the door to one business) but i need something, his time... all i seem to get is his stressed out side and his worries. Everyone else gets his smiles and jokes. I know im not the most supportive wife as I should be, but I cant hold it together. My full time job, plus everything else. Its been 3yrs and ive never felt so alone or know how long i can hang in there for.
Can anyone relate?
Husband never home. Or is, but working
Husband never home. Or is, but working
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
5 Replies
Real estate is a shit industry to work in from a family balance perspective. So much of the work is on call and out of hours.
I know a number of couples who just haven’t survived the industry.
I think it’s time for a real genuine sit down. You need a time line on when this will end. Let’s face it, the real estate market isn’t slow right now, and so he should be earning enough he doesn’t have to work two jobs.
If he’s not earning enough you both need an actual plan with a timeline about when and how they will change.
He needs to make it measurable, concrete plans. Eg by x date we will have paid of x debt, so I can stop y, or by x date this clients work will be finished so I won’t be taking on anymore new clients with the business.
If he can’t show you a plan, then he has no intention of changing this situation and you can decide what your options are from there.
Well at least all your many lawyer friends can help all your real estate agent friends that got divorced lol
Casting doubts on the legitimacy of other people's responses must take up a lot of your time 😂
I like this comment, there's a lot of actually usable advice. Pretty much everything I came to say myself actually!
Real estate really isn't the most family friendly career because it does tend to seep into one's personal time but it also sounds like your husband has stretched himself too thin. I'm also getting the feeling he might have a bit of a workaholic personality.
I think you do need to have a very real conversation about how you're feeling, no matter what's going on you need to make time for one another or your relationship is going to suffer, possibly beyond repair.
You're like two ships passing in the wind at the moment and it's not sustainable.
To be honest you don’t sound very supportive. Your post sounds very me me me. COVID has affected so many people and business. You are so lucky your husband has been able to jump into another job to help keep your family going during the hard times. I always feel like these are the times where you see someone’s true spirit. You don’t mention supporting him emotionally. All you mention is how hard you are doing it. You never mentioned talking to him about the situation. Just that you cry all the time. Now I don’t want to dismiss your feelings - at all! I have no doubt you are hurting and lonely. However crying and sticking your head in the sand is not helpful. Firstly talk to him about how you are feeling. Write it down if it helps you. Then maybe work on a plan for you to have some quality time together. Like a date night. Or even a lunch or dinner together at home. Or when you go to bed at night sit and talk for an hour. It sounds like he needs support as much as you need some attention. Be proactive and communicate. He’s working two jobs to keep your family going. Good on him. I hope it works out for you both.