I am separating from my husband, after 15 years of control and verbal abuse, I am from another culture and should of done this many years ago but I have no family here and my husband has over the years isolated me from any friends who could be a support .
I am the breadwinner of the family, we have now sold our home waiting for settlement, although we won’t get a lot out of it, as we still have a mortgage on it!
My husband hadn’t worked in the last five years, he has had medical issues originally, but then decided he wasn’t interested in working. My daughter 15 is staying with me and my 13 year old son has decided he wants to try going with his dad to live interstate, but if it doesn’t work out he will come back and live with us.
I am starting again from scratch as my husband took $9000 out of our joint account ( we had $10,000 in it) and blew it on gambling.
I now have to rent a unit and pay for my daughter and want to contribute to my sons upkeep, but he is telling me I have to pay him $500 a fortnight for my son and also, pay for my sons schooling and any thing he needs for school, like uniform, shoes etc. I earn $90,000 gross per year.
Is this too much, he says we must make a private agreement, a friend told me I should go with Centrelink?
Is he still trying to control me? Is this amount correct? I am also worried he will gamble it away.
I am so exhausted from his verbal abuse, I just want it to be over
Financial support after separation
Financial support after separation
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
6 Replies
Please call child support and let them handle it, absolutely NO private agreement.
Good luck lovely lady x
No he’s ripping you off. Sounds like he’s taken you for a ride for a long time and wants it to keep going. If I was you I would make sure you have your son as well and then leave him in the dirt but at the least what you have is one child each so no one pays anyone in a private agreement. If you want to set up child support - do it the legit way so that Centrelink calculates what you pay. It won’t be anywhere near $500 a week, he’s dreaming.
If I was you I would get a divorce lawyer because you should get more out of the house and he should repay the cash he gambled away.
Check CSA website. I’d go through them and just pay what you have to. One less argument. Don’t just let him set the amount and demand you pay extras. Child support set by them includes schooling and you aren’t required to pay for literally all of it. Go through CSA and any extra you decide to pay ask for an invoice so you know it isn’t going towards his gambling habit! You are 100% being taken for a ride.
Definitely contact CSA and let them set the amount based on the percentage of care you each have for the children and your income. If he isn’t working you will have to pay him something, but it won’t be anywhere near what he is demanding. Also have CSA collect from you and pay it to him, this way he can’t lie and say you aren’t paying. Get legal advice regarding financial settlement so that you get everything you are entitled to and aren’t taken for a ride, any further than you already have been.
Ring child support and you don’t do as your husband tells you. Let go of him now and you make the decisions not him and do it through child support. He is saying this so he doesn’t lose money from centrelink and you can end up with a huge debt! Ring csa and do not have a private agreement with this man. He is still controlling you. I wouldn’t even leave My son with someone like that. He will raise him to be the same way as him.
Can you persuade your son to live with you? This sounds like a bad situation for him.