BIRD NESTING
Have you heard of this?
I’ve been researching this lately, with the cost of living and everything going up -
We rent a unit together (cheaper) & this will be our place we go to on our off week, on week we stay in the family home with the kids.
I don’t want my children to have 2 homes -
I want the family house to stay & them continue at the same school & play with friends & not be taken away from that.
My husband & I get along but it’s becoming more apparent that things can not be taken back & we can’t keep lying to ourselves & pretending our Marriage is ok.
11 Replies
I don’t see this working because your lives are still way too intertwined. Your boyfriend would be living in the same space and him and his girlfriend in your off weeks. It just wouldn’t work so you could move forward. Just make the break and get the kids settled in to their new routine. The earlier you do it the better they can manage. I know it’s hard to give up that control and actually take that step and make that huge change, but it just is the only way to actually move on in a healthy way, and that’s what you really need to do, not get stuck unsplit from him thinking it’s for the sake of the kids.
I don't see it working long term to be honest with you. I just think there would be quite a few issues and if parents separate, kids don't have to change schools/friends etc at all
I have 2 siblings and multiple friends that tried this. Within 12 months they went from being amicable to irreparably toxic and bitter. It's a concept that works in theory only. I know a number of people in family law (30+ years of experience) and they've always advised against it. Typically some of the most bitter cases they've dealt with where there wasn't abuse or massive amounts of money at play.
2 siblings have done it
Multiple friends have done it
Knows a number of people with 30 plus years experience in family law
As per above, knows that their most bitter cases have done it.
Wow, to know soooo many people that have tried this and to have discussed it with so many legal professionals, quite astonishing, some might say, unbelievable.
Well aren’t you a nasty biatch! You obviously have no intelligence and probably no friends either with that attitude. You do realise that there are people with way more life experience that you.
You’re the one with “friends and family for all occasions.”
If you have a view point, give it, but the imaginary examples aren’t required to support it.
To be blunt, it actually detracts from your opinion and makes you seem less trustworthy i.e. a liar.
Sorry- just to clarify, the woman you are now abusing is not the same person that originally commented. The original comment was mine. I grew up surrounded by adults in family law. And a number of my cousins and siblings have gone into related professions, so even though we're all adults, the topic of conversations hasn't really changed that much. I don't actually care whether you believe me, but please don't abuse another woman because I answered a post based on my life.
I do not understand this at all
Ah OK I get it... This is brilliant while you both don't have live in partners and I admire you both for putting the kids first. Eventually you both will move on to new partners, or at least want to live your own lives.
As a child of divorced parents, I wouldn't recommend this. My parents tried something similar to this for a little while, it really just drew out the whole process and prolonged everyone's pain. We still had to deal with the inconsistency of our parents coming and going as well. It wasn't a good long term solution.
A clean split is much better for the kids in the grand scheme of things. Kids are resilient and adaptable, they do so much better in two happy homes than one miserable one.
I couldn’t have done this. I wouldn’t have trusted my ex not to go through my things when I’m with the kids. It sounds good in theory, and you might be amicable initially, but once one or both of you repartner things will change. And new partners probably wouldn’t be comfortable with that dynamic. The kids will adjust to the new routine. They don’t need to change schools or form new friendship groups as a result of the split.