How would you handle your child repeatedly getting physically hurt? I’m kind of at a loss on what to do. My daughter keeps getting hurt by my partners youngest brother and every time I ask for help with keeping a very close eye on them or even try to have a conversation about it he gaslights me and tells me I’m looking for problems. It’s gotten to a stage I don’t like going and seeing his family because I don’t want my daughter getting hurt. There’s never any discipline and the blame is always placed on my child or it’s made out like it’s both their faults so to bad so sad. The age gap is a year but there seems to be a real disconnect in the way they interact. It’s started to become such an issue in my household that I can’t even talk about anything to do with his family without him getting agitated at me. The last incident wasn’t able to be ignored as my daughter was bruised and I snapped because she got yelled at and I wasn’t having it. Things are tense all round and I’m not sure how to move forward with some sort of harmony
12 Replies
Is your partner the dad of your daughter? How old are the children?
When is the child hurting your child? Is it them rough housing? Is he lashing out when he doesn’t get his way?
I feel like I need more information.
But, I wouldn’t be repeatedly putting my child in harms way. That’s not ok.
No he isn’t. They are 5 and 6 nearly 6 and 7. He lashed out because she doesn’t want to wrestle and rough house so he hits her and tackles her to the ground. The latest incident was him grabbing her by the shoulders and forcing her to the ground and he had dug his fingers in so much is bruised her
That is not ok on any level, I would end my relationship over this. You can’t trust your child’s safety around your partner and his family, relationship is done.
Your daughter only has you to protect her. She can’t protect herself, and your partner has told you outright he won’t protect her.
The worst part of all this is he is immediately going into defense mode like its his family against yours. Is that what you want in a relationship? I couldn't do it. This is about kids fighting and he has turned it into a competition.
I’m not sure he is turning it into a competition but I don’t think he knows how to have the hard conversation that his family is being a bit crappy with the situation.
I'd walk.
He'd rather see a young child hurt, and taught to just shut up and put up with it, than teach the perpetrator of said hurt to not be a asshole.
He's the asshole, him and his enabling family.
Fuck them all off.
Came here to say the same thing!
This man is an enabler and a victim blamer, little girls DO NOT need men like that in their lives. Period.
Don't take her anywhere near them
Keep her away, protect her, your instincts are on the money, this isn’t right lovely.
And it’s sad this kid won’t learn with adults around like this.
If you are not ready to leave your partner, maybe you should just stop seeing his family. Don't put your daughter in a situation where you know she is going to be hurt.
I had a read of your replies on this thread and my honest opinion is to leave him.
Can you imagine having kids with this man? Because right now what you're seeing is your future if you have kids with him. Your daughter will always get the blame for anything and everything and he will always see her as a separate person to the rest of the family.
You're her voice and her protector, please don't let her be the victim of this any longer.
You don’t “move forward in harmony”. You choose your child every single time. If she’s not protected as she deserves within this relationship then she comes before the relationship.