My partner and I are well and truly over. As much as we have tried to stay together for the kids, it’s just not working. We are both miserable.
I would like to ask the sisterhood if any of you have tips on how to seperate as amicably as possible, to avoid possible conflicts during the transition. I don’t want this to turn nasty and I really don’t want our children caught up in any drama.
I do worry that initially my husband will be spiteful and say things to the kids to try to turn them against me, or at the very least make it clear to them that it’s all my doing to try to make me change my mind through their emotional response.
For him, he would be happy to remain under the same roof but I just feel like I’m here for his own interests (live in cleaner, “baby sitter”, and chef) and it is causing a lot of resentment on my part.
2 Replies
If you can I would try to reach some agreement around living arrangements, custody etc. Some people have even managed to purchase a unit and they will hot seat it. Meaning they return to the house to look after the kids while the other stays in the unit and then they swap. So it's the parents who move week to week and not the kids. Once you have agreed it's much easier to plan out how to approach it with the kids. Have an age appropriate conversation with them and ask if they have any questions. Of course reassure them it is not their fault and that it is just because you get along better when you are apart. If you plan it out and are both present it helps to stop the nastiness. There aren't any guarantees and blessed are those where both parties act maturely in these things. We can only try our best
Sit down with him and talk it out, then write it down and both sign and date.
Do not move out of your house or start splitting anything yet. Seek legal consult TODAY!
As great as it is to have good intentions to keep it amicable, you need to cover your ass!
Please, please seek legal guidance first and put EVERYTHING in writing!!
I was naive to think that we could handle everything like adults and here I am 2 years down the track after 10+ years of marriage and kids and all I have is some furniture and a pile of bills from providing for our kids while he sits pretty in a million dollar house and investing in more million dollar properties.
Stay put, keep your belongings where they are, write everything down and call a good family lawyer today!!!